inconsistent but better
To us, his parents, it's obvious that T is not using, based on his behavior when he walks in the door. He's conversational, alert, and engaging. All good. But then when it comes to following some of our basic and easy rules, he resists, or is very inconsistent. Again, yesterday, he didn't come home after school but he did call around dinner to check in. He called again, later, on my husband's cell and left a message. All good. Other days, we don't see of hear from him because he says he "forgets". He claims that if he had a cell, it would be easier to get in touch with us. Yes, I'm sure it would. I reminded him, however, that having a cell is a privilege and that he would have to earn it. I also said that he doesn't come home from school on a regular basis; he doesn't need a phone for that. Do you know he said? He said he will try harder! What? Was I hearing him correctly? All good....... I just hope he does........
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Once again, your story sounds familiar. Except the part about \"conversational, alert, and engaging\". I haven\'t seen that in my son in a long time. It has been replaced with \"sullen, withdrawn, and argumentative\". I wanted to comment to say you are doing the right thing with regard to the cel phone thing. Our son \"blew it\" twice with cel phones, and he no longer asks for one. When he wants to go somewhere with friends, however, we still insist that he contact us. When he complains that he \"doesn\'t even have a phone\", we remind him that he blew it and needs to look to himself to build the trust to earn a phone. He says he accepts that, but we have yet to see any positive behavior toward that goal. I know how hard it is to \"stick to your guns\" with house rules that don\'t correspond to anyone else\'s. I don\'t know a single teen that doesn\'t have a phone, and I\'m sure that they didn\'t all \"earn\" them. So maybe our son\'s will see our rules as rigid and unreasonable, but we have to remain consistent, and believe that we are right. It\'s lonely taking the road less traveled as a parent. I hope his statement about trying harder really comes through for you. Have a good week.
Every friend has a cell or home phone....just no excuse for the behaviors!!!! And so there doesn\'t seem to be any consequences that matter to him?! What will you do this summer when he says he\'s 18.......He may not be using drugs but he is \"using\" you. Please take care!!!!!!