Inconsistencies

So DH's workplace was supposed to do some admin to get him back to work again. At the same time, he had gone to that photo lab & found out that, although the delivery position had been filled, the lab's business has grown tremendously & perhaps they would be able to hire him in a lab position (which is actually better). So the owner of the lab is supposed to call DH about it. DH would prefer to work at the lab (which would be better from a commute & expense point of view).So far, no one has called him yet. (But...he hasn't called them either to follow up.) So I asked him what he was going to do; his answer: "File unemployment & work on my portfolio." Now, as I've said countless times before here, he "keeps working on his portfolio" to no end or avail. I'm all for him pursuing this as a hobby, but he is not serious enough (though he says he is, his actions don't reflect it) to pursue it as a career. And it's not putting bread on the table.I understand that the situation of the past month has taken a lot out of him. But when you have to live, you just don't give up! He was getting real clingy again last night--after he denied wanting to talk after I asked him (more on that in a minute). Asking me questions that have to do with my opinion of him & talking about things "how they used to be." Darn it--his worth is not dependent on me!Don't get me wrong--if there's anything I learned in the past few weeks is that I do care for him. But I'm not God. I can't fill that hole in him & he acts like he thinks I can. I'm sure that my inability to be that thing that he's looking for me to be is interpreted as not caring; I don't know.On a related yet separate note, I've been noticing inconsistencies in what he says/what he says he believes and what he does/does not do, in big and little things:- we were watching a show where a guy with a family was on strike & his girlfriend was carrying the entire financial weight on her shoulders. DH said things against this character doing this (along the lines of being lazy & not working)....but other than the one visit to the lab, he hasn't made any efforts to look for a job, update his resume, etc. (Yes, he's spinning his wheels on his portfolio, but again, that isn't looking for a job.)- I was talking about my sister recently releasing some music & how I hoped that some of my music-industry friends on FB would take note of it (because that would help her). So DH turns the convo back to himself, saying, "I wish someone would notice my photography..." ....But all he does is post it on FB, where it'll go no further than his own circle of friends. He doesn't network, he doesn't post them on a more public forum like a photo blog (which I've suggested & he rejected).- I'm getting involved in a certain team at church. He said he didn't want to be involved on any of the teams; that he doesn't even want to go to that church. (He's made noises about possibly going to our friends' church.) ....But he has made no effort to reach out to ministries he may want to be involved in, or to their men's group (which you don't have to be part of their church to go to), or anything else. The small group we go to is because of my prompting.- he's always made sounds about "getting out of debt".....but as we know, he just spends & has no idea the amount he spends vs the amount he makes. His (our) credit card is just about maxed out. We have a 3rd car that we barely use, yet the expense of it is sitting on our home equity line (which fortunately our draw period stops on that soon), and I'm paying a good portion of insurance on that every month.- speaking of the car: when he was going to get that car, I told him that I didn't want to pay for insurance/gas/taxes on 3 cars. He had said that he was going to get rid of the old car last December; then it turned into the end of the school year; ....then it turned into he wasn't going to get rid of it because "it wanted to live." - last night as I was getting ready for bed, he was sitting up (usually he gets right in there & just covers up). So I asked him what was up. "Nothing," he said....but after I turned out the lights & laid down, he started asking me all these clingy questions. (I was ready to go to sleep!)I know this may sound like I'm ruminating. I'm just trying to make sense of it all. I need to be objective & operate on truth. In the past, I've operated on what he's said he was going to do & it's always come back to bite me.In a completely different arena, I've come to an internal place of peace about my son. Although I've encouraged him to go out & look for a job or to register for at least a class at school, I finally told him the other night that if he doesn't do either of these, he is expected to help out around the house. After all, he is an adult now & we are providing room & board for him. And if he wants something for himself, he will have to pay for it. (The latest issue was a haircut; he didn't want to spend his saved $, but I said he was responsible for it.) He received the message well and seemed to agree. I think the part he liked best was being told that he was an adult now--that seemed to couch everything in a good way for him!So, if he wants to be a bum, he's not being a bum on my dime. Anything more than a bum is his responsibility.