In Search of the Unicorn
So this turned into a rambling journal but at least I started with a focused point.
In reading all of the IF stories and journey's that everyone has been on (pretty much cried reading them all, happy and sad), I have yet to discover the Unicorn, that girl that IVF worked for her the first time. Sitting on the precipice of my first cycle, it would be good to know that that girl exists. That it could be possible for me. So if any of you reading this are the Unicorn, please show yourself so that I may know that it is possible. I am going into this knowing I am going to do whatever it takes, but after 10 years of trying I don't know how feasible it is going to be. Reality is I am 32 years old (33 in January) and who knows if my eggs are any good, but I digress I am getting ahead of myself.
For now I am going to focus on the fact that the Dr. said everything looked good after my SIS. He took me off BCP (which I was a little bummed because I am just going to go back on them in a month). I went on BCP after we found out that my tubes were blocked and we were on the wait-list for a year (I needed relief from my 23 day cycle that lasted 15 days for 10 years, 1 week spotting before and after, plus the week of with heavy cramps). My husband should be sainted for putting up with all of that and me for 11+ years.
Sometimes I think the only thing that has gotten us thus far in our marriage is that the military sends him away for a couple weeks at a time (quite often for a couple years), giving us a reprieve from each other and the opportunity to miss each other. I am a very independent person and I love my husband very much, but there are some days you just shouldn't talk to each other, and there is nothing wrong with that (seriously, that is my advice to anyone that asks how to make a marriage last/work, or any relationship really). Because no two people are going to get along and see eye-to-eye every day for the rest of your life. Anyone who says they don't fight or need time alone are liars and are hiding behind that lie in hopes of it eventually becoming true. Spouses fight, family fights, friends fight. It's how you deal with it that defines you and your relationships.
I guess being alone with my thoughts is a dangerous thing. I should get to working since I am actually at work, but it's hard to concentrate when I have so much going on but not really happening yet. BLAH, I think I'll have another cup of coffee while I can.
In reading all of the IF stories and journey's that everyone has been on (pretty much cried reading them all, happy and sad), I have yet to discover the Unicorn, that girl that IVF worked for her the first time. Sitting on the precipice of my first cycle, it would be good to know that that girl exists. That it could be possible for me. So if any of you reading this are the Unicorn, please show yourself so that I may know that it is possible. I am going into this knowing I am going to do whatever it takes, but after 10 years of trying I don't know how feasible it is going to be. Reality is I am 32 years old (33 in January) and who knows if my eggs are any good, but I digress I am getting ahead of myself.
For now I am going to focus on the fact that the Dr. said everything looked good after my SIS. He took me off BCP (which I was a little bummed because I am just going to go back on them in a month). I went on BCP after we found out that my tubes were blocked and we were on the wait-list for a year (I needed relief from my 23 day cycle that lasted 15 days for 10 years, 1 week spotting before and after, plus the week of with heavy cramps). My husband should be sainted for putting up with all of that and me for 11+ years.
Sometimes I think the only thing that has gotten us thus far in our marriage is that the military sends him away for a couple weeks at a time (quite often for a couple years), giving us a reprieve from each other and the opportunity to miss each other. I am a very independent person and I love my husband very much, but there are some days you just shouldn't talk to each other, and there is nothing wrong with that (seriously, that is my advice to anyone that asks how to make a marriage last/work, or any relationship really). Because no two people are going to get along and see eye-to-eye every day for the rest of your life. Anyone who says they don't fight or need time alone are liars and are hiding behind that lie in hopes of it eventually becoming true. Spouses fight, family fights, friends fight. It's how you deal with it that defines you and your relationships.
I guess being alone with my thoughts is a dangerous thing. I should get to working since I am actually at work, but it's hard to concentrate when I have so much going on but not really happening yet. BLAH, I think I'll have another cup of coffee while I can.
Replies
There are lots of ladies on here and that I have known who get pregnant on their first IVF. It really does happen. And I know its hard, but try not to focus on the what ifs with egg quality etc. You will drive yourself nuts. Just know that IVF will give you lots of answers, so if it does not work on the first go around you will have a better plan for the second. Also, lots of people have more success on their first FET versus a fresh transfer because you body is going through less stress and is on less meds. So you fresh cycle may not work, but your frozen on a month or two later may.