in 5 years
I woke up this morning with a crushing feeling of dread. One of my sponsors took my call asking me how I was doing.
"I feel like I'm back in my 20's doing all of this all over again. It feels like 'how did I end up back here again?'"
He replied "with more wisdom though." That sparked a little hope. Then he said to write a paragraph about where I want my life to be in five years. A few hours later I decided Daily Strength was as good a place as any to make that forcast and since it's a way of shaking my blues, the entry "Inspiring" seemed appropriate. Although I admit, it felt false to label it as such; I'm sure that's the depression/self-loathing talking.
In five years my wife and I will have a third bookstore and maybe a storage unit business (something I am drawn to for some reason. Partially because it seems to be a good, low maintenance income, but also because I might be able to help people with it. Chronic alkies will know what I'm talking about.) My daughter will have graduated from University of Toledo with a pharmacy degree and be looking at graduate school. Hopefully our relationship will h ave mended and we will be on friendly terms. Same for my son who will be married and have a child on the way.
This is all he said to write. Just a short paragraph to describe a positive outcome. He said he did the same thing and his paragraph matched his reality five years later. it gave him something to look forward to. The AA program teaches that we can make plans but not plan outcomes. This isn't even a plan, it's just something pleasant to think about. Whether it comes true or not, it makes me feel a little better.
"I feel like I'm back in my 20's doing all of this all over again. It feels like 'how did I end up back here again?'"
He replied "with more wisdom though." That sparked a little hope. Then he said to write a paragraph about where I want my life to be in five years. A few hours later I decided Daily Strength was as good a place as any to make that forcast and since it's a way of shaking my blues, the entry "Inspiring" seemed appropriate. Although I admit, it felt false to label it as such; I'm sure that's the depression/self-loathing talking.
In five years my wife and I will have a third bookstore and maybe a storage unit business (something I am drawn to for some reason. Partially because it seems to be a good, low maintenance income, but also because I might be able to help people with it. Chronic alkies will know what I'm talking about.) My daughter will have graduated from University of Toledo with a pharmacy degree and be looking at graduate school. Hopefully our relationship will h ave mended and we will be on friendly terms. Same for my son who will be married and have a child on the way.
This is all he said to write. Just a short paragraph to describe a positive outcome. He said he did the same thing and his paragraph matched his reality five years later. it gave him something to look forward to. The AA program teaches that we can make plans but not plan outcomes. This isn't even a plan, it's just something pleasant to think about. Whether it comes true or not, it makes me feel a little better.
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