impulse control

I worry about how I am going to do over the next few weeks with this whole new me. Why is it so hard not to be dishonest. Is it part of my nature? I can't believe that. There would be no hope for me if that  is the case. It is so tiring though, the endless discussions about how I'm doing, whether I am telling the truth, what I have told the truth about and why I would have lied in the past about it, why do I feel the need to hide this or hide that. Knew this wouldn't be easy though. At some point, will it become easier? I hope so, i really do. Will there ever come a time when my wife won't question every answer I give her. Really is so draining having to dissect every thing at least three times a week at the moment. I don't like the discussions, they make me uncomfortable and very on edge. I worry that my wife won't like the answers that i am giving, but I have to do it, to try and be honest. It really does make me feel really awkward and horrible.