Improving Life
It's been ages since I wrote anything in here. Life seemed to be marking the spot for ages but lately I have been feeling better. Wow! I still feel a bit dire first thing but now I just accept that I do and that it evaporates pretty soon.
Work is going well, as long as I don't imagine myself never leaving....just a day at a time - just like they say. I enjoy talking to people and being as friendly and efficient as 5 years' experience has trained me to do.
Ivan and i are getting along well-at least I think so-hope he does too! Nearly 2 years.
A lot of my recovery is down to him and the kindness and stability and humour that is who he is.
Bryan gave me a card reading today and for the first time acknowledged that some of us are readers and/or listeners. I can't write and I can't be bothered-I have no reason to. Just want to be the natural me. Just doing what i do-being me.
As far as brother Simon brother goes-I give up- we'll never be natural and friendly with each other. So I'm letting him go. I won't write or ring or email or send cards or gifts. He's never really liked me and I find him cold and lazy. I've let this relationship damage me enough. It's obviously time to part. Haven't heard from Claudia or Jay lately-never mind. Nick wrote today but said if i want to help at next show I'll have to be more confident and assured or words to that effect. Like i can turn it on! I don't know much about his products so how can i believe in them and speak from the heart?
Have been let go from Mental Health Services back to my GP. Graduation! I do feel pretty well, I think-and am interested to see where it's going. Imperceptible change day by day-but when I look back I can see how much my mood has lifted.
Spring is coming-ducks come running when they see me with my bread going "Here duck, duck, duck" kowhais are out, warmth in the sun-Ivan planted the hanging baskets-I need to spend time in Nature and gardening is on the agenda for tomorrow.
Even a 7 year episode of ups and downs can start to diminish and I can be normal again. It's on the cards.
Work is going well, as long as I don't imagine myself never leaving....just a day at a time - just like they say. I enjoy talking to people and being as friendly and efficient as 5 years' experience has trained me to do.
Ivan and i are getting along well-at least I think so-hope he does too! Nearly 2 years.
A lot of my recovery is down to him and the kindness and stability and humour that is who he is.
Bryan gave me a card reading today and for the first time acknowledged that some of us are readers and/or listeners. I can't write and I can't be bothered-I have no reason to. Just want to be the natural me. Just doing what i do-being me.
As far as brother Simon brother goes-I give up- we'll never be natural and friendly with each other. So I'm letting him go. I won't write or ring or email or send cards or gifts. He's never really liked me and I find him cold and lazy. I've let this relationship damage me enough. It's obviously time to part. Haven't heard from Claudia or Jay lately-never mind. Nick wrote today but said if i want to help at next show I'll have to be more confident and assured or words to that effect. Like i can turn it on! I don't know much about his products so how can i believe in them and speak from the heart?
Have been let go from Mental Health Services back to my GP. Graduation! I do feel pretty well, I think-and am interested to see where it's going. Imperceptible change day by day-but when I look back I can see how much my mood has lifted.
Spring is coming-ducks come running when they see me with my bread going "Here duck, duck, duck" kowhais are out, warmth in the sun-Ivan planted the hanging baskets-I need to spend time in Nature and gardening is on the agenda for tomorrow.
Even a 7 year episode of ups and downs can start to diminish and I can be normal again. It's on the cards.
Replies
Hello sweet. What a nice surprise to see you have journaled after so long! I seem to have a hard time motivating myself to journal too. I used to write several journals a day when I first joined DS 3 1/2 years ago. Hard to believe.
Anyway, I am so very happy that my friend is feeling her depression lifting. What a blessing. It has been a long time for you, and you hung in there with grace. You kept your sense of humor during our chats, no matter how down you were feeling. I can\'t wait to chat now that you are feeling better. Unfortunately, I haven\'t been getting on DS early enough to chat with you. I have to be up around 4 am to catch you.
Spring sounds lovely. Our leaves are only just beginning to turn. I can\'t wait for the full color. I even love the heavy snow. Do you get a lot during your winter? Oh, you said you live near a rain forest, so I imagine you don\'t. It\'s so sweet of Ivan to help you with the hanging baskets and gardening. It is such a joy to garden. I\'m glad you find it pleasurable. Does Arnie try to dig up your plantings? Or any other critters?
Your reading by Bryan sounds like it was a great affirmation for you. It\'s too bad about Simon. I definitely know how that goes. But for me it is the reverse. Rather than me writing off my sisters they have written me off. I miss them sometimes, but it\'s been years, so I don\'t think of them much anymore. I think it\'s rude of Nick to put conditions on you helping him at the sausage festival. (I\'m assuming that\'s what you are speaking of.) You\'re right, you cannot turn it off and on. You are who you are and he should appreciate you and the help you gave him. After all, you were not feeling very good, mood wise, and you rose to the occasion and helped him.
All in all, enjoy the \'normalcy\'! I hope things go well with your GP. Congrats on your graduation from mental health services!!
Love to you, Ivan, and Arnie. Julia
HI Dinah,
I am happy for you things are going well. Remember it is your efforts in daily dosages that lifts you up. Take credit. Success breeds success. Again, glad for you. Keep writing!
Koon
This was wonderful reading Dinah it speaks from your heart. I see way more than 5 years experience at being friendly and efficient. You have never been less than normal cap. and I say\'s you been way above most of us fer sure.
joe
Thank you friends-I love you all xxx