Improvement
Today has been the best day I've had in a long time. I woke up this morning with a feeling that my "new" life has fallen into place exactly how I have wanted it to. If I could have anything back in this world, it would be you. Unbeknowngst to the world, nothing else is going to fix my heart or my loss.
I know that some members on DS are tired of me "professing my love", but I really don't care. They didn't know you. They didn't date you, and they were not married to you. And, they have no idea the impact it has made on me. Everyone's grief journey is different and I have walked through hell to get to this point.
It gives me a warm feeling to have our family and friends. Our home is fine and I'm glad I never dumped it in the early stages of my grief.
I guess you are probably laughing at this point, for you have heard me say that when the next person comes along and suggests I have a new partner, I am going to slap them square in the mouth. For whatever reason, people think that is what a widow needs, or has to have, or is going to fix everything. To that, my blessed husband, I say bullshit.
My sister and I cleaned off your brother and parent's graves while we were at the cemetery yesterday. I emailed photos to our family in Florida. They look so much better clean with red poinsettias than the unkept appearance they have had. I also hope you like your grave blanket. I could not let a holiday, birthday or anniversary go by without bringing you flowers. Silly, but it is my way of making sure you are not forgotten.
I give hugs and kisses to you, Mom and Dad for the Christmas season. I can just imagine what Christmas is like in heaven. You are all lucky, for Christmas here on earth is so commercialized that people have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. I will be with you in my heart, and am following your message to cool it and have fun. You like it where you are at.
I love you with all my heart --
Debbie
I know that some members on DS are tired of me "professing my love", but I really don't care. They didn't know you. They didn't date you, and they were not married to you. And, they have no idea the impact it has made on me. Everyone's grief journey is different and I have walked through hell to get to this point.
It gives me a warm feeling to have our family and friends. Our home is fine and I'm glad I never dumped it in the early stages of my grief.
I guess you are probably laughing at this point, for you have heard me say that when the next person comes along and suggests I have a new partner, I am going to slap them square in the mouth. For whatever reason, people think that is what a widow needs, or has to have, or is going to fix everything. To that, my blessed husband, I say bullshit.
My sister and I cleaned off your brother and parent's graves while we were at the cemetery yesterday. I emailed photos to our family in Florida. They look so much better clean with red poinsettias than the unkept appearance they have had. I also hope you like your grave blanket. I could not let a holiday, birthday or anniversary go by without bringing you flowers. Silly, but it is my way of making sure you are not forgotten.
I give hugs and kisses to you, Mom and Dad for the Christmas season. I can just imagine what Christmas is like in heaven. You are all lucky, for Christmas here on earth is so commercialized that people have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. I will be with you in my heart, and am following your message to cool it and have fun. You like it where you are at.
I love you with all my heart --
Debbie
Replies
if professing your love makes your heart and soul feel good then thats what you do losing the one you love is so difficult ,we all grief in different ways there is no right or wrong way and its difficult for all of us here on DS im so glad that you are surronded with the love and support of family and friends and the presence of your husband in your heart wishing you peace and strength
Anything I can do (without being a pest) to keep my husband\'s memory alive makes my heart and soul feel good. Thanks for the kind words.
Debbie, Your words say all that I feel. Jim has only been \"away\" from me for 9 months, but I will never stop doing whatever to keep him right here. I do not say he is \"gone\" because to me he will never be gone. Like you, if there was one thing I could have right now, it would be to have his physical person here with me, but I know that is not to be, so I will keep all of that we shared with me, however that may be.
I also get what you are saying about slapping the next person that says...\"you are young still, you will find someone else\". When you have been with the person you were born to be with, in my opinion, there is no one out there to find. I have loved and will continue to love Jim and I am ok with that.
My prayer is that you continue to find peace in your love. May the joys of Christmas fill your house with all the memories that you hold so dear. They truly are with us and will never leave.
Have a Blessed day,
jus me, Becca Z