Imprisoned
Dear Journal,
I don't run from problems. I have never been a runner. But now I finally have something that consumes me. The first thing I have ever wanted to run from is the first thing that won't let me run from it. How do you run from your own thoughts, Journal? Because if you know please clue me in because i'm going crazy stuck in here. Trapped by the walls of my own imagination. It's like i'm sitting on an island, crouched in a ball, being screamed at by everything I have ever suppressed, or denied, or covered up. Everything single little thing my mind has ever thought comes crashing upon me in waves. Waves which never hesitate to destroy. And they're getting bigger.
It's like i'm drowning. Drowning, but I can see everyone else around me breathing. All my life I have watched the sky, observing as people floated away from me. I never looked down. Now when I glance below me, I find that I have floated away myself. And I'm scared of heights.
I don't run from problems. I have never been a runner. But now I finally have something that consumes me. The first thing I have ever wanted to run from is the first thing that won't let me run from it. How do you run from your own thoughts, Journal? Because if you know please clue me in because i'm going crazy stuck in here. Trapped by the walls of my own imagination. It's like i'm sitting on an island, crouched in a ball, being screamed at by everything I have ever suppressed, or denied, or covered up. Everything single little thing my mind has ever thought comes crashing upon me in waves. Waves which never hesitate to destroy. And they're getting bigger.
It's like i'm drowning. Drowning, but I can see everyone else around me breathing. All my life I have watched the sky, observing as people floated away from me. I never looked down. Now when I glance below me, I find that I have floated away myself. And I'm scared of heights.
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