Impossible tasks
Today, I feel overwhelmed between work and my friend's house. My friend's house in and of itself feels like an impossible task, even though things are starting to be cleaned out. Some of the issues are not having enough room to throw away everything that needs to be thrown away. And then just so much stuff to try and pack everything. She keeps having these ideas that she is going to be able to keep everything, but in all actuality she is not going to be able to. We have kind of ended up getting rid of all of her dishes, which I am thrilled about. I did not want to wash them. (It has been 3 years since anyone has washed them.) It is still at a starting point. I mean we can be in the house. My husband has done a lot of cleaning just to be able to be in the house for more than a few minutes at a time. There is still more needed to be there for more than a few hours, but it is coming slowly and surely. Her main floor is maybe half way packed. Unfortunately, it is really hard to try and pack with kids there, and we don't usually want the kids there because it is still not great. At least we can go to the bathroom while we are there. Still can't really eat there, but at least the air is not so toxic that we can't even stand to be in the house.
Work on the other hand is overwhelming in other senses. My boss gives me impossible tasks, like trying to save the company money. Last week, he tells me he wants me to try and make it possible for us to go a week without any bills...How in the hell am I supposed to do that? Bills are due, payroll needs to be done...Only way to save us money is for him to get more serious about his job, and maybe force his stupid salesman to actually do his job, but if I tell the boss that then he just tells me to mind my own business. Only other thing that can be done is to tell him to stop golfing or to tell other people to do other parts of the jobs so that they get done. But same as with his salesman, I am not supposed to get involved in other aspects of the jobs. I can't even tell him that another thing that might help is withholding pay until the whole job is finished, but of course that is what it was supposed to transition to when I started here, but that never happened. I can't save us money if the owner just pays it all out to other things. (Not that it isn't his right to do,) but it feels like an impossible task to be told to save us money when there is nothing that I can do.
Today, he tells me he wants to take a look at our advertising, and is trying to tell me how it works...I feel like screaming at him, because he doesn't know shit about the advertising. I have been doing it for two years. Sure you want to change it, but changing it is not going to save us money. It is probably just going to cost us more.
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Today, it feels like an impossible task to even deal with listening to my coworker. I want to tell the owner that he makes me look like I am incompetent, but even if I do, the owner won't do anything about it. He won't ever hear him talk like that because the coworker won't down talk everyone else while the owner is here. Yesterday, the coworker had a new client come in, and actually told her that he can't leave because he is the only one here. The client almost looked at him like he was insane because she clearly saw me.
Today, I feel so angry. I feel obsolete. I wish I didn't need the money, otherwise I would just go home.
Yet another day where there is nothing for me to really do. Yet, I get treated differently than everyone else.
Today, I am bothered more so by finances. I worry that because work is so slow that I will be the one sent home. Which honestly, I just can't afford. Between everything that I am responsible for financially, and at work, and trying to deal with my friend's home and the feelings that I get by having to go through her belongings and decide what she should and shouldn't get to keep bothers me. Hopefully taxes will come back quickly. And to think on top of everything else, that I may not be able to bring my son out over the summer this year. All because I doubt dumb ass ex will give me the money back. He owes me for last year, and will probably owe me for this year as well.
Grrr....fucking people irritate me. 'Oh I ordered my stuff 3 weeks ago and was told it would be in in two weeks...Can you tell me when it is coming to you guys' my response : Next week, I will have them give you a call to schedule it as soon as its in. Client: I am not asking about scheduling, I am asking when you are getting it... did this four fucking times and then was told I was not being very nice...and not giving the information that was requested.