Im so Tired of Hurting.When will this pain end?

It's another sleepless night. But sometimes I wonder if it's better not to sleep because when I finally do I wake up I  find im still in my nightmare. I am so hurt,devestated,and just exhausted. I sit and wonder; how much more can I physically take? When I have to interact with others I have to smile and act asthough my whole world is not in turmoil. I feel like im Dorthy in the Wizard of Oz looking outside a window into my world that is spinning out of control. As im writing this it makes me wonder ;am I going insane? What have I done so bad? How can the man whom i devoted the majority of my adult years to intentionally hurt me like this? What happened to the saying you dont hurt the ones you love? Why me , when I love him unconditionally? why?