im scared

its all happening so fast again those thoughts to be thin gotta lose weight more and more and more then that. its really starting to scare me...all i can think about is how my girl tells me she loves my body...but i still want more...i still want to lose everything...im too fat...i wana be thin...thin is beautiful...im not thin...so im not beautiful...i shouldnt jiggle when i walk...my thighs shouldnt touch...al i can think about is going into my kitchen and eating everythig and ten going into the bathroom...and releasing everything...*sigh* it would fel so good to lay my head on that porcelin ring again....i want to so bad...and when im thin i will be beautifuul....i will be thin...i will be thin by any cost...i will be thin by any measurment....i will be thin by the time school starts in 11 days...i will be 20 pounds less ....and then i will lose more..because i will still be fat....i will...i know i can....i just want to be thin....i want to be like one f those girls that go around and are able to wear a swimsuit...i want to be thin....i want to be thin....thin is beautiful...im not thin....im not beautiful...please just make me thin..