Im not arguing with you about this
This has GOT to be my new mantra. It is SO easy to get trapped in an argument—to refute statements, present facts, defend opinions. The thing is, I really don’t like arguing. I will if I absolutely have to; there is a time to argue, to be sure. But everyday innocuous actions, plans one has (unless self-destructive) really, really do NOT need to be argued about.
My sister got into a tirade (yes, that’s the word) yesterday about something I said that she thought little of. Doesn’t matter what it was about; bottom line it really was none of her darn business. But once she launched, I actually held the phone away from my ear for a few seconds & when I put it back, she was still shooting off her mouth. And then stupid me gets into defensive mode. Because that’s what I’ve always done. I wish I could rewind & just say “I’m not arguing with you about this.”
My mom is like this often. Something will trigger her & she’ll go off on a tirade. And all I want to do is run. No more running. Just: “I’m not arguing with you about this.” And if they want to continue to argue, that’s when I’m outta there. Why subject myself to that?
The thing is that for years, I’ve taken the high road, been kind in the hopes that they’ll treat me the same way. But they don’t. Although both sometimes act like they care, I know they really don’t. They rarely seek me out or encourage me or anything like that. They say they love the kids, but will never talk to them or spend time with them. (They did when the kids were little, but no more.) Okay, so they don’t like me. Is that a reason to be mean & argumentative? No.
I’ve really done all I can with them. Really. I can’t hope to turn our relationship around because it takes two. And if it really is not about me, but about their own problems, I can’t solve those problems, nor will bullying me solve their problems. I will not be an emotional punching bag anymore!
“I’m not arguing with you about this.”
My sister got into a tirade (yes, that’s the word) yesterday about something I said that she thought little of. Doesn’t matter what it was about; bottom line it really was none of her darn business. But once she launched, I actually held the phone away from my ear for a few seconds & when I put it back, she was still shooting off her mouth. And then stupid me gets into defensive mode. Because that’s what I’ve always done. I wish I could rewind & just say “I’m not arguing with you about this.”
My mom is like this often. Something will trigger her & she’ll go off on a tirade. And all I want to do is run. No more running. Just: “I’m not arguing with you about this.” And if they want to continue to argue, that’s when I’m outta there. Why subject myself to that?
The thing is that for years, I’ve taken the high road, been kind in the hopes that they’ll treat me the same way. But they don’t. Although both sometimes act like they care, I know they really don’t. They rarely seek me out or encourage me or anything like that. They say they love the kids, but will never talk to them or spend time with them. (They did when the kids were little, but no more.) Okay, so they don’t like me. Is that a reason to be mean & argumentative? No.
I’ve really done all I can with them. Really. I can’t hope to turn our relationship around because it takes two. And if it really is not about me, but about their own problems, I can’t solve those problems, nor will bullying me solve their problems. I will not be an emotional punching bag anymore!
“I’m not arguing with you about this.”
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