IM MY OWN TORTURER #acne #insomniac #selfesteem

As every night, I dont manage To turn my brain off. I cant sleep.
Even how hard I try (relaxation, meditation, even drugs To help me sleep...) NOTHING WORLD and I am SO TIRED. The facts are, I have many issues in my life : divorcing parents, bipolar sister, being manipulated by what was my dearest friend, boy relztionship disaster and most importantly: MY SELF ESTEEM...
I've fekt so alone for a year now and add To that a 2 months extreme boredom and you get a disaster ... I have no one that I can count on (#nofamily #friendsThatDontUnderstand) and I think Im depressing....
Tonight my most concerning problem is my ACNE ! 4 years of acné by now and its just getting worse and worse. Last year, I was so in pain and so afflicted by it that I considered myself as a MONSTER and couldnt bear my own look in the mirrors: I colères them all. This month, after being so proud of myself for having it finally disappeared, after 1 year when I managed to fade it , it all came back. I have big scars all over my cheeks, none of the 3 profuctd I've tried by now are working. Im ugly, in pain and DESPERATE. I go back To school in 2 weeks: what can I do ?? I already refuse To go out with my friends because Im ashamed, and in my circle one of the girls who used To be pretty cas acné for 2 months only and now she's gorgeous agqin ... I cant go back to school in my state ... University is for starting going to je not as great as I dreamt if everyone focus on my acné and never santé To be my friend because I dont look good or worse To be my boyfriend !
Of course Ive been reflecting on this : try to calm down and reassure myself with what else I am a part being this "hidden beauty" (lol). In fact il clever, nice and talented in arts etc. But still, I cant find peace in me, I cant sleep, and my acné is getting worse, and my family makes comment about my acné, recalling me how bad it looks, scarubg me even more, blaming me for ils state and dont/cant understand what Il going through becauwe they never experienced it ...

A bit of support and advises would be nice.
Thanks a lot for reading my complaints...