im just not going to do anything.

i just dont know what to do anymore. so im just not going to do anything. cuz im just so tired of her telling me things and then me seeing that she really doesn't mean it afterwards.  my biggest wish is that if it were possible for her to actually have time for me in her life. cuz most of the time she doesn't at all and even after all this time it still hurts just as much as it did years ago. i still can't believe she told me that i am her closest friend, it hurts cuz she isn't treating me like it at all. if she can't back it up with her actions that i wish she wouldn't tell me things like that, if you know you can't make it happen or want it to happen. so since she gets mad at me for bringing up things like this, im just not going to do anything at all, im not going to contact her in anyway and just over all do nothing at all, cuz its not worth getting my hopes up and then getting hurt again.  i dont think she loves me like i love her.  cuz within the last 4 years it doesn't seem like she loves me at all anymore, i dont get what happened, i could tell before 4 years ago she loved me so much now it doesnt feel like she loves me at all. something changed around 4 years ago, i wonder what it is for her to have started to love me less.
well im leaving for New Hampshire in the early morning. so i hope it takes me mind off of how hurt i am.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey Sweetie, so sorry for the changes....however, you are taking care of your self and dealing with the signs, which you are now knowing. It hurts like hell, and can understand.....we all have been here with someone in our life.......

You are right though, more action would be taken if love was there......

I know it hurts to hear this......but, there is a reason, a season, and a lifetime with each being you meet.....in one of these \'timeframes\'.

We are here for you.....and sometimes its just best to let it go.....and maybe she will then see for her self...what is and what isn\'t.....as well.....shruggs...never know.....

but what is important right now...your taking care of your self.....NOW, as much as you don\'t want to know or see........its what your heart, mind, body, and soul........desires! your taking care of you.....your \'wants\'.....so letting go of what does not do this.....for you......I say, pat on back woman......you got power, strength, and love for your self......enough.....to move forward.......and with courage........to go meet those needs and wants for your self.........

smiles to ya.......and have a good and safe one!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry you\'re hurting so bad. I\'m praying for you.