Im fine but...
I have no real reason to live.
What people care about me? I have 3 older sisters but only 1 actually does something that makes me feel wanted. Even then...i feel like its pointless. Im pointless.
I deleted all my social media and no one cared to look for me or ask. I could have died???
Even if i do kms, i cringe at all the people who will say "i loved her" or "she was so sweet and i cant believe this". Its all bullshit and if they do care then where are they?
My father raised me to be a problem. He wanted me to be fucked up so he could show the world and receive pitty.
Im the definition of fucked up.
What is there to lose?
Replies
My mood is fine. Idk why it says horrible.
There is a lot to lose. You're young you still have so much to offer. One day at a time. You'll be fine! My brothers are useless to me also. Siblings are not always the best.
I just dont get it. I have no purpose. Why should i be alive when i feel like a waste of space.
I wasn't wanted in my family, either. My mother found it a bother to care for me as a toddler.
She made her point when I was 4 years old by killing my kitten in front of me to show me what happened to dependents who bothered her by expecting her to care for them.
When I was 9 years old she put my sister in the bedroom next door to her master bedroom, and put me in a room out over the garage out our house.
My sister got put in the most expensive private school in town for elementary school, while I was put in a tough public school.
And on and on. Now that I'm 62, my sister has taunted me by saying our parents' will leaves her all of their property and money and I get nothing.
So it goes. They didn't care for me, and I don't care for them. I replaced my insane family of origin with friends here from DS PTSD.
Im sorry to hear about your story. I hope it gets better.
Live for yourself, not others. You are in control of your life, no one else.
People of Ds have had seriously tough lives peace to all of us!
omg...same. moslty I dont bc I dont want to let the crappy ppl win....or the few who do care to be sad...but then I'm the same, like theyd all be "oh how sad, she was such a great person" when they cant be bothered most of the time or I'm so lazy and dont deserve anything.
@doggy123 litterally story of my life. Im so glad someone understands
:)
Just so you know, I have been here. Somtimes my mind still tries to feed me the same junk going through your brain. Since you shared some idea of faith in a post, I thought i would share my purpose.
I am here, still breathing, alive in order to do the will of God, and that will is for me to love every person I can in every way i can. If you want the verse numbers from the "following" verses in "quotes" you can ask or copy and paste them into google and they will come up.
"who(God) desires all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth"
"Jesus came to seek and save the lost"
"love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy it does not boast it is not proud it is not rude it is not self seeking it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, it always protects always trusts always hopes always perseveres"
So, I consider it my purpose to be patient, and kind, and not rude or envious or proud or boastful or self seeking or unforgiving. Toward any person I interact with for a moment or for my lifetime.
another verse speaks, "what you do to others you also do to me" so, I consider that I express my love for God, by the amount of the person I love the least.