Hello everyone. I have been giving a lot of thought of how the illusion of feeling a closeness to our ex by "Knowing" about them is such a huge setback. So I thought I would put all my thoughts here for anyone who might be having this problem. I would also love to know what you think about this.
Most times we feel like everything is out of our control and by knowing what our ex is doing or what he/she feels or is thinking, we believe to be more in control or at least feel some kind of closeness. Today I woke up and my ex popped into my mind. I wondered what she might be thinking about me dating someone else. She is REALLY into superficial looks and social class, so I kept wondering if she might hate me because I am dating someone who is prettier than her and above her social class. I wondered if she hated me for it or was jealous. Then all of a sudden I snapped out of it and thought "Who the hell cares?".
How does me knowing what she is feeling help me? How does knowing anything about her help me move forward in my life?
We shouldn't talk to our exes unless we REALLY HAVE TO. And even when we do have to talk to them the conversation should be kept to a very minimum and to the point discussions. No chit-chat and no friendliness(In most cases). So knowing or trying to figure out what they might be thinking or doing only hurts US. They might not even be giving us a second thought (scary thought for most people). They might not care or even remember us. We tend to hold on to the thought that maybe they are also hurting and maybe they are human after all. But thinking this way only empowers them in our mind and humanizes them. It brings us down and puts them on a pedastle in our heads. This is because we are giving them importance in our lives by even thinking about them.
They are our exes for a reason. They are behind us and shouldn't be important in our present. They served their purpose and brought us this far. Maybe they broke us, and if so then they served their purpose to make us stronger than we ever thought we could be. Maybe they were a growing experience and then we should be quietly thankful and take the good they left. Whatever they were they helped bring us to this point in our lives. Good or bad point, that is up to us to decide. But knowing what they are doing or thinking will never be a good or helpful tool. It will only hinder our growth and we can bet our bottom penny that they are growing and moving on themselves. So why even care what they are thinking?
Well just my thoughts for today.
Blessings to everyone today and know that I appreciate everyone on this site for their courage and strength and of course for all your advice and help along my path as well.