Ihurt so bad

i hurt so bad and i feel such a loss, another lost grandchild. it brings so much pain from when nattie died. i am scared to go to bed and see the blue lips that haunt me. will the pain ever go away? just when i think i can handle life i loose another grandchild. does God not know that I HAVE HAD ALL THAT I CAN TAKE??? where does it end? i gotta try to get some sleep for the morning. i will update after the baby comes..jaime