IF NOTHING CHANGES.....

Wednesday.....lunch time.....so have a minute to write in my journal.... The move is now "pretty much" over.  Keys for the old place were turned in.....have boxes stacked to the rafters in the new place, and in storage! I donated a garage full of stuff to Salvation Army, and still have a huge storage full up of "extra" stuff.  It will take a long time to get my new little place habitable. Due to problems in the wiring setup of my new place, have to buy a wireless router to be able to get internet in my "home office".  Computer broke during the move, so have to buy a new computer as well.   All in all, I'm still glad I made the move.  It did cost a lot more than I thought....(almost $2000 to the movers and cleaners who helped me!).....It took a lot longer because I had things moving to the apartment, a second move to storage, and a third "move" to shift things to be picked up for donation!!!  The guy whose company did the move invited us to his house for a Superbowl party, and since I worked, he sent me a huge plate of BBQ.....it was really, really yummy!  We seem to have made a friend out of this move.... My expenses will be about $800/ mo less now in the new place, so it will be a couple of mos before I "break even" on the move. I'm slowly sifting through the boxes...and reminding myself to fight feeling overwhelmed, and just be happy I got this far! Thoughts of gambling have rolled through my mind from time to time.....at one time I would have "escaped" to the casino out of the mess and out of the stress.....but I did not go.  If I had not become a gambling addict, I would probably be out of debt by now, buying a house.  However, reality is that I am a gambling addict, and I can wallow around in regret, or give up and go back out there.....or I can face reality, and do all I can to recover. Moving to my (soon-to-be) cozy little apartment is part of facing reality, and doing what I can to recover.  I will not negate the effort I've made here by going back out there to the madness of gambling. ... NO WAY.....NO HOW I want to really change my life at this point.  I want to "weed out" what is not necessary or good or beautiful or healthful.....and make this new life about health, about simple joys, about creativity.....about what is IMPORTANT. It feels good to be free of all that "junk" I donated....junk I dragged around behind me for years.  Good-bye.....and Good Riddence!  I hope that others will be blessed by it.... I'm hoping for inspiration each day to make my life a little better, a little more healthful, a little happier.  I want to make good choices.  I want to realize I have to make the choices for a different, better life.  As my friends here say....IF NOTHING CHANGES....NOTHING CHANGES... I'm going shopping for a new computer tonight, hopefully I'll be back up in a couple of days. Much Love, Big Hugs to each and every one....Dianne