If I had a wish

Hi, a thought came to me the other day and I just had to message it to my wife. I know that it may not have been the smartest of ideas... but I did it anyway: "If I had only one wish, I would wish to give it to you!"
I never imagined I would ever be in a place where I was so desperately wanting to win back the heart and love of the woman I have been with for over 17 years. Almost every moment of everyday I think of her or our son, how what I have done, how my anger and words have hurt them. Everyday I ask the Lord to forgive me, and pray that they well find a way too as well.
I look at things so much differently today then I did 6 months ago... I just pray that my hard headed lack of seeing what was right in front of me, has not killed my future. I can't imagine a future with out her... she had and has always been my love, my rock... a sickness took over me... one that will never, never control me again!
A friend of my wife, ask me a question yesterday: "You still love her, that I can tell but does she still love you?" As I walked away, I felt such a sadness come over me cause for the first ever that question was on my mind, and I don't no the answer! :(