idk what to say

my life is something i feel like i'mn all alone in a room full of of people. i have spent the better part of my life looking for a place that i feel like i  belong. and i just cant seem to be able to find that place. because every where i go i just feel like the people that want me there just want me there so that they can uuse me for something my faamily only needs me around when they need free work done my ex-boyfriends only want me around when they want sex and my "friends" only want me around when they want me to buy them something and it just seems like its that way every were i go exept at my church and when im there i have to pretend to be straight and normal and beleave the same things they do and i hate having to lie about who and what i am and what i beleave in