IDK what to do!!

I am upset with myself for allowing myself to be in the situation I am in. I still have hope that everything will be okay but its like my hope keeps getting blinded. I keep asking myself is it me?? Did I do something to make this man think it was okay to disrespect me?? He has put me through everything in the book and once I start showing my little bit of freedom, he flips. Even though I am no longer with him he still feels as if he owns me, and he'll say it. He has no role models in his life to tell him this is wrong. I am tired of thinking about this everyday. I do not want to stress my baby. I was originally pregnant with twins and had one miscarriage and one is still living, which I am grateful for. He doesnt even have any sympathy for me at all. And every time I try to express my feelings and how all I want is respect he yells and says all I want is sympathy. I cant do it anymore. I feel like I am dealing with a maniac. I want out, but now I bound to him for life...