Idk how this works :c i thought it was a group chat

Lately i've been keeping the crisis hotline busy every night. like tonight, too.. There is so much going on, i can't handle things. Im so exhausted, it's almost midnight and i fought off my insomnia medicine because i was too scared of the nightmares i get every night from PTSD. On a good day, i have my phone on speaker with my long distance bf but it's a 6 hr difference and he has his issues too. I can't stand being so alone and scared every day?? I live in the middle of nowhere.. and I don't leave the house only once every other week. I can't stop overthinking. I just wish that if i could get a real hug it would be better than any treatment center or medication.