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so, it's been a while... again.
i've been getting very weak recently and i wouldn't doubt it has a lot to do with the purging. it's not something that i want to stop i just wish it didn't make me so tired. i have no energy to go out and do anything. i basically binge, purge, write and sleep. that's not the kind of life i want. i'm not happy where i am right now. i have to change, but i cannot give up purging. i have to be skinny.
i have not noticed a large drop in weight either. i mean some of my pants fit that didn't before, some shirts look better on me but i'm not where i want to be. i'm at least 20 pounds away. it's been almost 3 months since this seriously started and i have maybe lost 10 pounds at the most, maybe. what do i have to do? i'm miserable and i just don't know what to do anymore.
i'm so alone in this too, which honestly i don't mind. i don't care about keeping this a secret, but in general i just feel like i have no one to go to. and i know i have friends and people that will listen, but i don't want to put my shit on anyone else. it's my business, i am an adult, i should know how to deal with it.
this is all sort of where i'm at right now. weight problems, freaking out about my future. just normal 20 year old stuff i guess.