iam done crying by vader

This is an update of my journal.I am done crying.It will be 6 years and I have learned to love myself and do things for myself.I cannot mourn anymore.I was with Brad for 13 years and he was the love of my life.But unfortunately not everyone who is in love gets the prince.You see,sometimes love does not always work out and this is the case here.Brad is the one who changed.He choose to do the drugs.And when he did this,I realizwed that the relationship was going down hill.He was not the person that I fell in love with.YOu see i tried.I went to AA.I went to NA.And almost any support group imaginable.The fights were horrible.They were screams fests and nothing like this is going to happen again.I am out of the dating scene.I may sound old fashioned but it is true.I do not believe that there is someone out there for me.And if he is there,I havent seen or met him.I go everywhere by myself and this is the way that things are going to be.I am alone.Truly alone.Guys...I have tried..but you want someone who has got a lot of money and is blonde just to be a thropy on your arm and this is wrong.I am done.If I am at the coffee house and you try and I mean try to talk to me...I will walk away.Please do not tell me that nice guys exist.Where? I am 67 and I do not believe in late marriages.Number one...half of the guys my age have children and I am sorry..i cannot be a step mother to anyones children,because I do not have children and thats the way I planned it.I can be a friend if you want..but i am through with those silly flowers and love notes.I do not want flowers.I want someone who is warm and compassionate because I am bi polar and I almost drove Brad out of his mind with it.This is one of the reasons.Bi Polar people need understanding and they do not need someone always screaming and finding fault with them.I am not perfect.I never will be.I am happy and i am healthy and I am alone and in two months I am getting a new cat and I love my new apartment.Sorry..guys.....I flew the coop years ago.vader.COmments....