I wonder....
I wonder if I'm doing the right thing being on here. I see the messages of support or comments to my journal with advice and support and I just start bawling. Maybe in the fact I know everyone is right and also that they are going thru the same hell on earth I am. I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I have made some wonderful friends on here and I have not gotten ANY negative feedback. I just feel I'm dumping and not moving forward, and don't know how to do that. It does not help I'm pretty sure they make fun of me or look for things to "get on me" and the fact he's still in the house and I have to maintain my face and smile for the children when in fact I just want to curl up in a ball and die. Who will ever want a 40 year old with 2 small kids...they are baggage to most. I wouldn't even know where to meet people. I'm trying to make new friends but I cannot even do that. So again, I hope I'm doing the right thing being on here...I think so but is it normal to cry so much. I wish the counsellor could just hypnotize me into not caring but I do.
Replies
Yes, sweetie, it is very normal to cry when your world has been shattered! Please keep your chin up!
Sweetie, I am a 36-yr-old guy whose going bald with four girls in tow, but I truly have come to believe that maybe someone out there would be interested in being with me. I was nothing but sweet, faithful, devoted and caring in my marriage and she took it for granted. I have faith that someone out there will not allow that to happen. And I sincerely believe you will find the same thing some day. I think your H is a fool, you are sweet, smart and pretty and you will be able to get by without him and his cheating and disrespect.
Really get into your counseling and give it time to work. Self-awareness is a big key when you are recovering from being cheated on. Think about WHO you are, WHAT you want and what you WILL NOT tolerate from a future mate/relationship.
Most of all, stay strong for those boys. You are setting an example for them and one day they will know and be proud of you for not allowing yourself to be walked on.
And I\'m gonna be 54, so again, I know how you feel. But it\'s never too late, and 2 boys is not 5 kids or something huge like that. Dad is right, you are very attractive, seem pleasant, have a good idea of what you will not tolerate (his bullshit). He needs to get his act together!! Have you thought about a trial separation?
Sometimes that is what\'s needed so you can stop crying. That\'s what I needed for me. But his OW already told us both that she was not going to jeopardize her marriage, and even if she was going to, and just lied to me, that\'s the chances I had to take. He had to leave for about a month, so I could regain some sanity, and finally get about 3 hours of sleep. Counseling helped alot too.
You can do it!! You can do whatever is needed for your boys!!! If he knows that he can get away with it, he will most likely continue, and that would be very devastating for you!!!
If you can afford it, please try counseling, so you will see that you are not the one who\'s nuts. And regardless of whether you read, and post here or not, I think that you\'d still be feeling like crap. Here at least you have support! Better to get support from once strangers, than BS from a husband you thought you knew!!!