I Wish This Year Was Over Already !

This Year has been CHAOS for Me ! I wish it was OVER already !When I was a Kid I'd ALWAYS look forward to the Holidays - Thanksgiving, and Christmas - but I don't look forward to them that Way anymore now.For Me, the Holidays are a Time of EXTRA STRESS that I DON'T NEED ! Thanksgiving - the Day that Typically Most People enjoy Indulging, and Eating all of Their Favorite Foods, etc.. - for ME, it's a Different Story THANKS TO MY MOM ! IF I end up going to My Parents House for Thanksgiving Dinner it'll be Nerve-Wracking for Me, I can guarantee You that ! My Mom will be staring Me down almost the Whole Entire Time... watching how Much I'm Eating, and IF I DARE TO ASK FOR SECONDS OF ANYTHING You'd think I had ran into the Kitchen and buried My Face in one of the Bowls of Food, or Something ! LOL According to My Mom I'm supposed to Eat like a BIRD on Thanksgiving ! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT ?! It's NOT even that I'm saying that I'd want to Eat HALF A TURKEY, or anything like that !!! LOL I'm NOT saying that ! BUT, the Way My Mom acts, it's as IF She Thinks that's what I'm trying to do ! It's NOT RIGHT... It's NOT FAIR ! WHY can't She get OFF MY BACK for at least the HOLIDAYS ?!!!!!WHEN will Her NAGGING Me about My Weight STOP ?!!!! I'm 40 Years Old, after all... NOT 12 !!!! I WISH HER LOVE WASN'T SO CONDITIONAL ! Actually this goes for My DAD too, and the Rest of My Family - My Two Sisters, and ESPECIALLY MY BROTHER - THE KNOW-IT-ALL DOCTOR !!!! I think My Brother is at the Heart of it, in Fact. I'm SURE that He's talked about Me BEHIND MY BACK to My Parents quite often ! HOW DARE HE ????!!!! It's MY LIFE ! NOT HIS ! Honestly, I think My Brother's had it IN FOR ME ever since I was BORN when He was told He had a BABY SISTER, instead of a BABY BROTHER like He wanted !!!! I wish I could SPEED UP TIME... just a BIT... just Enough to get PAST the HOLIDAYS ! I only see My Brother ONCE A YEAR - IF THAT - on Thanksgiving, OR on Christmas.... BUT it wouldn't bother Me in the LEAST if I didn't see Him AT ALL this Year ! The SAME THING goes for My SISTERS, or at least to ONE of My Sisters. BOTH OF THEM... I hardly EVER HEAR FROM ! They both live in Other States, BUT couldn't They Call Me once in awhile ???? I hear from My Mom that They CALL EACH OTHER !!!! My Mom has NO CLUE how Bad that makes Me feel ! Granted, there is an AGE Difference between Me and Them, BUT that shouldn't matter that much ! They're STILL my Sisters ! One of them is about 7 Years Older than Me, and the Other is 10 Years Older than Me. My Brother is 6 Years Older than Me.So really ALL of My Childhood I felt like the ONE that was LEFT OUT of EVERYTHING ! I felt like I was just AN AFTERTHOUGHT to My Parents ! They already had Their Lives with My Two Sisters, and My Brother, and just decided One Day.. " Oh what the Heck ! One More won't hurt anything ! "... LOL Looking through " FAMILY PHOTOS " was always Depressing for Me as a Kid, because SO MANY TIMES My Mom would have to say.. " Oh, that was BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN ! " I Love My Parents Very Much, but sometimes I wonder IF They Regret having Me.They've ALWAYS made Me feel like I've been such a Failure to Them... IN EVERYTHING I'VE EVER DONE ! Now, lately They've been trying to PUSH ME into agreeing to have Weight Loss Surgery, and They DON'T even See it that They're CLEARLY making it a CONDITION on Their LOVE for ME ! They've made it CLEARLY SEEM that IF I TRULY LOVED THEM, THEN I'D DO IT ! They don't even see HOW WRONG THAT IS ! ESPECIALLY when I've made it CRYSTAL CLEAR to Them that I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY !! EVER !!!!! I've told Them that it's MY CHOICE.. MY LIFE... I've REMINDED THEM of that MANY MANY TIMES, BUT THEY STILL KEEP ON NAGGING ME LIKE A HUNGRY DOG WITH A BONE !!!! I'M SO SICK OF IT ! I'm so Tired of it, that I almost Wish They would have just STAYED UP at Their Place in Virginia for the Winter Months ! At least with Them up There they wouldn't be Calling as Much, and of course couldn't INSIST on coming Over to My Apartment whenever They feel like it ! They Just got back to Florida Yesterday, and sure enough My Mom called Me RIGHT AWAY to let Me know that They're BACK ! As soon as I heard Her Voice on the Phone, and started Thinking about Them coming over eventually, MY NERVES STARTED GETTING COMPLETELY SHOOK UP ! I was an ANXIOUS.. FEARFUL.. MESS.. for awhile ! This was JUST ONE PHONE CALL ! What's it going to be Like when They actually are HERE in My Apartment !?!?!?!