I wish it would all end

I am struggling to get by lately my mood swings are coming and going very rapidly.  I think thought if I took a small vacation it might help but of chorus it didn't I'm having a problem with my bipolar and the loss of my mom I'm tryingto fight my depression but it's getting harder every day I try to tell myself she is in a better place she is no longer in pain her hurting is gone but my pain is just getting worse some days I want to end it all then I think about my boys they would feel the same pain I feel and then what would happen to the them I just can't do that to them I just want to find peace within myself