I wish I wasn't me

I would give anything to not be me. I hate my appearance, my mind, my soul...everything. I wish I was as ahead in life as my peers. They're in greek organizations, doing research at various top colleges, and making high grades.  They actually seem to enjoy their college years. On the other hand, not a day goes by that I don't think about killing myself. Nothing makes me happy and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, not even therapy. I get that everyone goes through their own journey in life, but I can't help but feel that I'm the only one going through so much and having to deal with so much turmoil. I just want it all to be over