I Wish I Had the Guts to Kill Myself Already

   I'm going to keep being stupid no matter what I do. I never do anything right. Everyday I go to work, there's this sense of dread that I might get fired. I learn from my mistakes and I make more later. It's as if I never learned anything. And I keep getting worked up over the smallest of mistakes. I hate myself, my stupidity, and my incompetence.

   I'm too sensitive and emotional and I hate it. I can barely handle anything. I can't even express myself properly in this journal. I probably have no idea what I'm talking about. I have a great life that people would kill to have. Yet, I have the nerve to be stupid and unhappy. I should kill myself.

   I'm always going to be like this. I keep thinking of different ways to kill myself, but I'm too much of a coward to do anything about it. I'm a sensitive, lazy, and stupid coward who's probably going to get fired within a year. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. Then again, I'm too scared to kill myself anyway. I feel like I wasn't supposed to be born. I'll always hate myself.