"I Will Follow"

 
When I first discovered Daily Strength, I began a sort of spiritual re-awakening and a newly found relationship with God. And this relationship has been nothing short of fantastic in the sense that I believe that there is a future for me after all. He really has sent many blessings my way in the short amount of time we have been together. 
Yet, as I am an impatient, often times selfish man, I find myself having a difficult time really walking the walk with Him and not just giving it the old half-assed attempt at commitment. I'm a little behind on my reading of a couple books I have started on the Bible, yet I really have nothing but time. Oh, I read my 2 daily devotionals and then I wonder why my life still seems to suck, when the reality is that I am actually doing pretty well, under my circumstances. 
So this morning, after dutifully going out back to see His sunrise and sit down with Him for a moment, I came inside to check my e-mail and such and dealt with all that. Then I cracked open my devotional, “Grace For The Moment”, by Max Lucado. Max was spot on, again: 
                                   GOD KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING 
“It's easy to thank God when He does what we want. But God doesn't always do what we want. Ask Job.
His empire collapsed, his children were killed, and what was a healthy body became a rage of boils. From whence came this torment? From whence will come any help?
Job goes straight to God and pleads his case. His head hurts. His body hurts. His heart hurts.
And God answers. Not with answers, but with questions. An ocean of questions.......
After several dozen questions.....Job has gotten the point. What is it?
The point is this: God owes no one anything. No reasons. No explanations. Nothing. If He gave them, we would not understand them.
God is God. He knows what He's doing. When you can't trace His hand, trust His heart.” 
And if Max hadn't said enough, Billy Graham's entry in his “Hope For Each Day” devotional for today hit me where I needed to be hit: 
“Disregard your feelings when it comes to Christ. You aren't saved by your feelings; you are saved by Christ. Feelings come and go, but Christ remains.
Only the facts matter—the fact that Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again; the fact that if you committed your life to him, he has promised to forgive you and save you. The Bible says: “God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has life.” (1 John 5:11—12)
That is God's promise to you—and He cannot lie. Your feelings will lie to you—and Satan may even use them to convince you God has abandoned you or that you have lost your salvation. But remember; “There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44, NIV)
How wonderful to know our faith is based on God's truth, and not our feelings.” 
So, my sense is that I need to kick myself in my ass and refocus my commitment to God, instead of haphazardly reading 10 minutes and dozing off, or going out back for 2 minutes and then coming back inside to go back to sleep. Faith, for me, requires some work and focus. Two things that are not coming too easily for me lately.  So, as Chris Tomlin sings:  I will follow..........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DoU8zBQE6Q4&feature=related