I was blind
I say I was blind, but in hindsight I really wasn't. In 2010, my husband went online to sign up on facebook to speak to family and friends. While he was looking for friends he sought out all his old teenage girlfriends to see how they fared over the last 30 something years. Only one replied out of quite a few. She was the beginning of the end of my husband and our marriage.
Quite a few years ago my husband was a drug addict and an alcoholic, his brother was a heroin addict and he died in my husband's arms after shooting a hot ball of heroin. So he went into drug and alcohol rehab, got straight and was free of all substance abuse for over 20 years. All that ended when that woman came to our home to see him and meet me.
She is quite a wealthy woman, married a man who works on wall street, has a 7 figure a year income, owns her own business and has 4 children. She had 4 abortions to my husband by the age of 18. Ironic she has the same number of live births to her husband.
Over the last 5 1/2 years, our live as husband and wife went from being connected at the hip, to him becoming not only an addict again, but he was physically, mentally, emotionally and financially abusive to me after he would hang up from talking to her on the phone. She played these games on the phone asking him if he needed money and when he said yes she laughed and said no . This would go on and on until he was in a rage and she would hear him hurting me. Then she would call him back and tell him the money was there for you to pick up all the time. Laughing like it was a joke that she was capable of driving him to that point. This went on for years. 5 years and a half to be exact.
Why did I stay? I knew this was not my husband. This was the devil acting in him. My husband was kind, gentle, loving and so much more. He never laid a hand on me prior to this married woman descending in Florida. I love and am madly in love with my husband, not this monster he turned into. He eventually moved into one motel after another and she rented him an apartment. He continued to use and drink to the point of becoming a fall down drunk. He now has legal issues and she was right there with her wallet opened to pay legal fees, and so forth. It was not until December 2015 when he was a victim of a hit and run, has a traumatic brain injury, three bleeds on the brain and then his dog died in February of this year that he realized and understood that life is precious, and he needed help. He was and still could lose everything, his freedom and me. Now he is in recovery went to detox for a week and is waiting for a bed to open in the inpatient unit. I am very glad he is seeking help but he also needs to realize the problem is still hovering around like a satanic vulture waiting to descend again. He says he understands that he has to get rid of her and will do so when the legal mess is over with. Will he? I don't know. Time will tell. In the mean time I am going to move forward with my own life and have taken measures to do so. My daughter and grandchildren are moving here for a new beginning and also to help me since I am currently in a wheelchair and need hip surgery bilaterally.
I do not hold any fantasies about short term recovery. I do know there is a high failure rate. I have a degree in nursing and psychology. I also know there is a failure rate that is high when there are numerous factors causing a repeat addiction. It is in God's hands. I pray about him and for him daily. The signs of what he needs to do are right in front of him, all he has to do is open his eyes and want to change for the better and want to live.
Quite a few years ago my husband was a drug addict and an alcoholic, his brother was a heroin addict and he died in my husband's arms after shooting a hot ball of heroin. So he went into drug and alcohol rehab, got straight and was free of all substance abuse for over 20 years. All that ended when that woman came to our home to see him and meet me.
She is quite a wealthy woman, married a man who works on wall street, has a 7 figure a year income, owns her own business and has 4 children. She had 4 abortions to my husband by the age of 18. Ironic she has the same number of live births to her husband.
Over the last 5 1/2 years, our live as husband and wife went from being connected at the hip, to him becoming not only an addict again, but he was physically, mentally, emotionally and financially abusive to me after he would hang up from talking to her on the phone. She played these games on the phone asking him if he needed money and when he said yes she laughed and said no . This would go on and on until he was in a rage and she would hear him hurting me. Then she would call him back and tell him the money was there for you to pick up all the time. Laughing like it was a joke that she was capable of driving him to that point. This went on for years. 5 years and a half to be exact.
Why did I stay? I knew this was not my husband. This was the devil acting in him. My husband was kind, gentle, loving and so much more. He never laid a hand on me prior to this married woman descending in Florida. I love and am madly in love with my husband, not this monster he turned into. He eventually moved into one motel after another and she rented him an apartment. He continued to use and drink to the point of becoming a fall down drunk. He now has legal issues and she was right there with her wallet opened to pay legal fees, and so forth. It was not until December 2015 when he was a victim of a hit and run, has a traumatic brain injury, three bleeds on the brain and then his dog died in February of this year that he realized and understood that life is precious, and he needed help. He was and still could lose everything, his freedom and me. Now he is in recovery went to detox for a week and is waiting for a bed to open in the inpatient unit. I am very glad he is seeking help but he also needs to realize the problem is still hovering around like a satanic vulture waiting to descend again. He says he understands that he has to get rid of her and will do so when the legal mess is over with. Will he? I don't know. Time will tell. In the mean time I am going to move forward with my own life and have taken measures to do so. My daughter and grandchildren are moving here for a new beginning and also to help me since I am currently in a wheelchair and need hip surgery bilaterally.
I do not hold any fantasies about short term recovery. I do know there is a high failure rate. I have a degree in nursing and psychology. I also know there is a failure rate that is high when there are numerous factors causing a repeat addiction. It is in God's hands. I pray about him and for him daily. The signs of what he needs to do are right in front of him, all he has to do is open his eyes and want to change for the better and want to live.
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