I want to hurt my child
I called Jake this morning to tell him about the trip. He told me that he was waiting until after the trip to tell me "his news" to avoid me canceling my trip to Gatlinburg. He needs to move back home due to medical issues. He can no longer work enough hours to support his own apartment. He will not tell me over the phone what is wrong with him and he thinks I can wait until Saturday morning for this conversation.
Sunday morning I awoke from a dream about Jake being in a hospital and when I got out of bed to run to the bathroom my legs went right out from under me. I fell on the floor so hard it woke up Anne. I think this more premonition than dream.
I am a selfish mother, I do not want my sons to be on their own whether they can support themselves or not. I have a 4 bedroom house for just this reason. Until Saturday I will try to enjoy the fact that Jakey is coming home, no matter the reason.
I love you all and miss you retreaters very much already. I have been crying all day and am no use at work. I need you all near me. Somebody please find me a Phoenix mom or two. Maybe I'll look for some news coverage.
And AnnM, my sunflower lover, I may need to call you for sunflower advice in the desert!
Sunday morning I awoke from a dream about Jake being in a hospital and when I got out of bed to run to the bathroom my legs went right out from under me. I fell on the floor so hard it woke up Anne. I think this more premonition than dream.
I am a selfish mother, I do not want my sons to be on their own whether they can support themselves or not. I have a 4 bedroom house for just this reason. Until Saturday I will try to enjoy the fact that Jakey is coming home, no matter the reason.
I love you all and miss you retreaters very much already. I have been crying all day and am no use at work. I need you all near me. Somebody please find me a Phoenix mom or two. Maybe I'll look for some news coverage.
And AnnM, my sunflower lover, I may need to call you for sunflower advice in the desert!
Replies
I hope what ever it is it can be treated and resolved. I too am a selfish Mom . I love having my children at home. Right now Mike who graduated from college in May is job hunting with no results... I am happy he is home we have five bedrooms he can stay here... Jeff leaves for college and Sara is senior in high school. You hang in there!! Hugs Wendy
Oh Colleen, I send you prayers that it\'s a simple issue and enjoy having your boy home again. I too don\'t think I\'ll make a very good empty nester. Love to you. Robin
Of course by Saturday, Jake will have had every diease known to man - hope he is doing ok & you too. Wonderful meeting you - take care of yourself too. Our middle child - she will always be that - moved back in October - have to admit I do enjoy having her here - even if she would much rather be living in the city of Chicago. Hugs, Ann
I hope Jake is OK, but I bet it will be nice to have him around. It is good for kids to know they always have a safe place to return to no matter what. Love to you, Linda
Colleen,
Sorry you are having a bad day. I didn\'t realize you fell this weekend and I hope you are ok. I think it is ok to be a bit selfish when it comes to children. Hugs, Inga
I am going to think happy thoughts...Jake will be just fine. I loved seeing you again this weekend...you are a sweetheart...love you bunches...Karen
You are such a caring Mom and Jake is so lucky to have you. May this week fly by for you so that you get through this without worrying too much. But we can\'t help it, we worry no matter what. Truly your friend, BarbaraWawa
Hoping for the best possible outcome and for another room in your house to be filled! I don\'t call that selfish at all. In the meantime do what you can for yourself and our sunflowers grow like crazy in Utah and we\'re pretty dry too. Just lots of water and TLC in the beginning as they are taking root. I\'m sure Ann will have the green thumb advice for you. Hugs dear friend. Joanie
I think I will run to Phoenix and help you shake it out of him!! I hope it is nothing serious, and I will keep Jake in my prayers. But I am glad that he will be home again with you!! Hugs to you my friend..I wish we were closer. Love, Kim
Change the sheets and dust, get that room ready and fill it with love, Jake will be there soon to fill that space. I hope all is well, sending prayers for whatever ails him. Peace, Nora
I love you my friend it was amazing meeting you at the retreat you are both in my thoughts
Oh Colleen, I didn\'t know you fell due to the dream or premonition about Jake....I was worried about you though. I know you did way too much walking at the retreat...I am so glad you get to have Jake back at home though...my house is so big and empty with no one here...I miss my boys so much. I hope and wish that whatever is ailing Jake can be cured and his time at home with you is one of rest and healing....keep me posted about what is happening. Peace and Love to you and your family. Anne
Colleen, your doing right taking it one moment at a time. It was great to get so many hugs from you gorgeous, and over the top to see you again. Love and prayers being sent for you and Jake, keep staying positive. Lynette
Me too, me too ~ our family keeps scheming to figure out how we can live in the same city or at least in the same time zone! Both Allie and Hillary have come home for extended periods during their young adult lives and I LOVE it when they are with us.
I pray that Jake\'s condition is something easily treatable and/or controllable and am glad that he will be with you where you can reassure yourself each day.
Love and hugs ~ Debbie
Matt had to move back home last September and I have to admit I am glad he did, even if his bed is where my kitchen table should be (I live in a condo-open area downstairs). Hope it is nothing serious. Love, Sue