I want to feel normal

I have been suffering from panic/anxiety/depression since mid March.  I was on Paxil for nearly 9 years for panic disorder.  When I had my first panic attack back in 1999, there was a clear trigger...Too much caffiene.  That weekend was a terrible weekend.  I went to the ER on Sunday because I couldn't stand the panic attacks any longer.  ER doctor reassured me nothing was medically wrong with me and I was just having panic attacks.  On Monday, I went to a general doctor who put be on Paxil and Ativan.  After two weeks of being somewhat a sleepy zombie from the Ativan,  I was getting better because the Paxil kicked in and I was able to stop taking the Ativan on a regular basis.  Things went fairly well until this year. This past March, I had a panic attack while trying to go to sleep on night.  I knew what it was so I took an Ativan to help me calm down and go to sleep.  I was okay for a few days, but then I notice that I seemed to have some general anxiety that was different than any panic attack feelings I'd had in the past.  This last for weeks.  I went to my general doctor to make sure it wasn't my heart or anything medical.  It wasn't.  We decided that Paxil wasn't not working for me anymore.  I mentioned to him that I heard about a med called Effexor.  Wondered what he thought of this med and its success.  He thought it was effective in some patients.  I asked him in his professional medical opinion, would this med work for me.  He said he thinks it could help me moderatly.  So he went ahead an put in on Effexor.  Since I was in such a bad state with anxiety, he didn't want to take me off of Paxil.  So, for a week I was on 37.5mg of Effexor and 20mg of Paxil.  The following week went to 75mg of Effexor and 10mg of Paxil.  The week after that stayed at 75mg of Effexor and down to 5mg of Paxil.  The following week stopped Paxil altogether and was only on 75mg of Effexor.  That was two weeks ago.   I thought I would feel normal by now, but I don't.  I go from anxious to depressed and back.  A few hours a day I feel good then a few hours of not feeling good.  Have bouts of crying. I want to feel normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!