I want to die

I can't bare this anymore. These thoughts. Wanting to die. What is the point in trying to get through it again? It just comes back again...and again and again! I'm so tired. So fucking tired of it all. It's too much!Nothing has happened to bring this on. It's just hit me again in a wave. The thoughts are just THERE again. Wanting to die....NOT wanting to live! How many times before I give in! How far do they want me to go in trying to stay in this life. I just want to cry but I can't. My chest and throat feels tight with tears but they wont come. Maybe if I self harmed I would feel better but it's not enough anymore...the relief doesn't last and I just end up wanting to do it more and deeper.I can't take it... I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT!!!