I want to die

I do not know lately how I even bother to get out of bed. I am so afraid of being alone, that it is killing me! I want to talk to this guy so much, but my fear rules me! And I can't do anything about it!I want to know that there is something for me in the not to far of future, I do not want to feel as if every day I have lived through of late has been in vain! I want to know there is someone out there who does love me, in that special way, and if it is this guy, I wish I could just speak to him! I just don't know what to do, I really want to be loved!I know I'm young ( everyone tells me!) but my dream is to get married,I want it more than anything but I don't think it will ever, and I mean ever happen!