I've hit rock bottom

balling my eyes out. can't shake this empty feeling inside me. I feel so unbelievably alone. Still haven't told any family members about the situation with my ex and what happened over a month ago. It's eating away inside me. I have had flashbacks of that night and it scares me. I'm too terrified to be alone with a guy now, I don't want anyone touching me, I feel like I'm back to square one before I started dating him, only 100% worse because now I can't see myself ever with a person because 'm too scared to have all that happen to me again. I don't want to go through that again. I've isolated myself, I don't know who I can go to for help, I know I need to talk about it but I can't. I just want it to go away and to forget it even happened. I've been wanting to start cutting again so badly. I've hardly been eating. I can't eat. I just want to hide away and get away from myself. I feel so trapped like I did that night, I can't get free. I don't know where or who to turn to