I\'ve decided to lay off the barmaid...

...because, the fact is, SHE'S GOT A BOYFRIEND.  If not for that simple fact, I'd charge in with both guns blazing.  As it is, she keeps going back to him and I keep coming in to the bar to pass the time, because I'm lonely and bored, thinking that I'll just be friends with her, but our flirtations go WAY, WAY beyond friendship, physically checking each other out and emotionally bonding in such a strong way.  This isn't doing me any good emotionally or psychologically and  it has to be confusing the hell out of her as well, so I must look somewhere else.   It's so sad, because if the BF was not in the picture, this girl and I could be clones; when we talk, we see eye-to-eye on so many levels, I feel like I'm looking into the mirror seeing a prettier version of myself when I look into those bright, blue, crazy pools (if there is a devil and an angel, all rolled into one, she has bright, blue eyes!), and yes, she reminds me of the craziness of my brother when he was alive and well, 20 years ago, and I want to get back to those crazy, good times again!  She went out to Vegas to party with a couple of other barmaids.  I think she drinks a bit too much (I probably only overdrink once a month), and the alcoholism may have become an issue anyway, as well as the fact that she's a control freak, a fiercely possessive type (well, nobody's perfect--that makes two of us--I'd be possessive of her too--we'd try to possess each other) but it's so refreshing to know what I'm looking for in a female mate now, healthy or not.  (sigh)  The search resumes elsewhere... Someone who likes to exercise, sweet, intelligent, stable career, happens to find me sexy, as I do her, we have the same emotional tone so we take great delight in sweetly possessing each other...! OK...depression's setting in now...tears flowing... Thanks, everyone, for all your support.