i've been thinking

you know i've been thinking.. thinking about all the time and energy that I spent being angry.... angry at everybody and everything... actually more specifically angry at the young man that was driving when my son was killed... and how I wanted to see him pay for his actions.  I continued in those thoughts till I realized that to be a proper human being and a proper parent... to be a loving parent to my remaining daughter that I had to put that anger aside... .actually put that young man aside... We all know what he did... and the grief that he caused... the lives he's changed and what we are missing... and dwelling on it... welll that didn't help one bit...So... on I go with my life... loving life... loving the memories that I have... and knowing that I was the best darn parent that I could be... You know there were 2 accidents... 3 weeks apart... and boy the difference in the 2 accidents... wow... Tracy's death was an accident... not a good thing... yes very sad... but I spoke to the driver... and know that it was not his fault... as for the 2nd accident that took my son... He avoided me... at first I thought it was because well I had lost my son... just 3 short weeks after losing my daughter... then I realized... it was guilt... that was causing him to avoid me... then I hated him... then I realized that I have never hated anybody in my life... and that life was too short... that I had to come around... No... I've never spoken to him again... and nope.. don't care if I ever do... but my life and my remaining daughter's life.. goes on... We have a good life... good friends .. good Daddy... good Husband.. wonderful grandpa... and all in all... life goes on.l.. and for the most part... I'm happy... miss my kids... but nothing can bring them back... so on we go.. making the best of the rest .... hate and anger takes energy and that energy can best be spent on positive things...  God Bless everybody... Life can be good even after tragedies...