I took that first step....
towards the door... and didn't take it back, or look back. Today, I woke up, and got ready for my date with my husband. We were supposed to go rock mining and enjoy our time together. I put my new dress on, went to get gas, got hit on, and I felt good. I came home... and it all started. She faught with him last night, and this morning accused him again of being suspicious- he retreated to his computer and needless to say our plans quickly went down the drain. I gave him space, ignored him, and I left.
I told myself I would be gone for a minimum of two hours, and I did it. I rented girlie movies and stopped at Taco Cabana for lunch. I came home and retreated to my room. He came to take a bath and wanted me to sit next to him-- while I listened to how miserable he was. He told me she wanted him to come over tonight, and I told him to go, and stay, and not come home. I was nice, but I told him-- I cannot do this anymore. As long as she is in your life, I can't be. I told him, to go be with her 100 percent, and let me go. I told him to just be happy. He looked at me and said I'm not. He told me this isn't what he wanted, and I said- it wasn't your decision to make. I did it, I stood my ground, I was nice, and truthful-- I told him, I know you don't know what you want, me or her, I'll make it easy-- go to her. He stopped the conversation, wasn't ready to think that I would really be gone out of his life, but I am. I turn 28 in four days, I have my whole life ahead of me, and I can't let my husband's affair, and his obsession with his mistress, and her obsession with destroying my life and seemingly his in the process, is something I need out of my life. Today is a new day for me. A day of self preservation, a day of self respect, a step towards moving on, towards healing.
I feel strong... and I feel at peace... at least for now, I am working on me... as long as his life includes her... it won't include me...
I told myself I would be gone for a minimum of two hours, and I did it. I rented girlie movies and stopped at Taco Cabana for lunch. I came home and retreated to my room. He came to take a bath and wanted me to sit next to him-- while I listened to how miserable he was. He told me she wanted him to come over tonight, and I told him to go, and stay, and not come home. I was nice, but I told him-- I cannot do this anymore. As long as she is in your life, I can't be. I told him, to go be with her 100 percent, and let me go. I told him to just be happy. He looked at me and said I'm not. He told me this isn't what he wanted, and I said- it wasn't your decision to make. I did it, I stood my ground, I was nice, and truthful-- I told him, I know you don't know what you want, me or her, I'll make it easy-- go to her. He stopped the conversation, wasn't ready to think that I would really be gone out of his life, but I am. I turn 28 in four days, I have my whole life ahead of me, and I can't let my husband's affair, and his obsession with his mistress, and her obsession with destroying my life and seemingly his in the process, is something I need out of my life. Today is a new day for me. A day of self preservation, a day of self respect, a step towards moving on, towards healing.
I feel strong... and I feel at peace... at least for now, I am working on me... as long as his life includes her... it won't include me...
Replies
Wow, I can\'t imagine ever saying to my husband \"Go be with her\" unless it were my last words to him. You deserve so much more than that. It is ridiculous how beautiful you are, how bright you are. I just can\'t believe he made you reach that point. I did see you that you confronted him at 4am and really girl, that was awesome. You are going to be so happy when he is out of your life.
I loved reading this. I see myself in this. I am right now ready to try and make this decision. I am at least fortunate that right now, my husband does not live with me. I would have a harder time if so I think.