I told me so !

Saw it coming like a kansas twister, and it hit me like a ton of cotton swabs.I don't know man, there's like 3 or 4 people here that know I'm still breathingI don't get it. . . .- fucking knew this would happen .Nothing,  no thing happened.That can't be a good sign. Kinda reinforces my reluctance to never ever do something like this again.I'm trying to make a difference in the lives of my fellow comrades in sadness What did I do ? what could I have done?Is it worth considering on any level? I've got to lower my expectations. - not happy about that. But then , look at odds of even getting someone to freaking join this fucking group in the first place. I'm going to take my meds once again and I will have forgotten how bad I feel right here and now. . .  but I'll check it out tomorrow and , well, like almost everything else in my life, I'll wish I hadn't done it cause I fucking knew  the outcome  man!  There is no no safe zone, and I know it  . .  again. But it's like my dad always told me " if you wear brown shoes to a wedding, no one will notice but they won't dance with you - anyway."  -freaking pearls man . . . .   = o }