I told him I need a break

So at the end of our time tonite, I looked at him and he asked what was wrong....I told him I didn't want him to be mad.  He said "oh, okay, what's going on...." and sat next to me on the bed and I put my head on his shoulder.  I told him that I wanted to ask him for a break.....he said okay and that he understood and he wasn't mad and he stood up and I asked him why he was so far away and he said he's not good at this stuff.....and I told him I'm not either, and he said he wasn't surprised and he knows I've been putting my life on pause.  I told him I don't want to be 2nd choice for the rest of my life and that I don't want to look back in another 12 years and wonder what was I doing with my life....I told him I'm trying to do the right thing for both of us and end it but I'm not saying I'm ending it because I don't know that I can but that I'm trying to leave.....and I was supposed to get that job in CA.  He said he doesn't know why he's been doing this and he does genuinely love me and I told him I know and I love him.    He said being with me makes things better and he's better able to get through the week after he's with me....he feels better.  He said he wouldn't bother me....that he wouldn't be seductive and he would just say hi and stuff.  I told him I felt like he was breaking up with me and he said he felt like I was breaking up with him.  I'm just trying to do the right thing.  For both of us.  I want to move on.  I can't be with him so I need to be with someone who wants to be with me.  I know that.  It's time for me to put me first.