I think it's run its course...
I just joined DS a few days ago to look for support that I cant seem to get from friends and family.
I have been in a relationship with a man for almost four years. Not only is it not going anywhere, I also think its an emotionally abusive relationship and I think it has run its course.
The thing is, I have not been happy in this relationship since about 8 months into it, when he cheated on me. He regreted it, but it took him almost two years to stop talking to the girl that was involved. During this time, my self esteem got crushed, and I gained 40 lbs due to emotional eating. It has progressively gotten better in the last year, but he has become super needy now, where I have to basically coo at him like he is a small child to make him feel loved and wanted. And when I mean coo, it goes a little something like this... 'I love you my sexy darling love always and forever, your my everything, etc, etc'. This is not a bad thing and everyone needs to feel loved, but when it has to be said every time we talk, every text, every phone call, every email, the meaning of it loses value. If I miss saying something like that one time, he gets upset and sulks all day. On top of that, I have been repeatedly told if I dont act the way he wants, or show affection in the exact manner he expects it, I am a heartless bitch, who only cares about herself. I sacrificed and gave up alot to make this relationship work including removing several male friends from my life, and then to get through all the trust issues, but it doesnt matter.
I am just tired of doing everything I can to make someone feel loved and wanted and it never be good enough. I am tired of everytime I dont want to make love, or if my kiss is only 3 seconds instead of 10 seconds, I am a heartless uncaring bitch. I am scared to end it, worried maybe there is something there that I will be missing out on when I leave. I am also worried about him because he always makes me feel like he has no one and I am it, and life will seize to be worth living if I am not in it.
We had a fight last night, and I told him if I was so heartless, then he needed to find someone that will give him what he needs. We havent spoken since then. I dont know whats going to happen... I just dont want to do it anymore. I dont want to fight over how I am not loving and caring when I do hold hands with him on the couch when we are watching TV, give him kisses and snuggles and tell him I am happy to see him when I see him, text him to let him know I am missing him and thinking of him. Cook him yummy suprise healthy dinners, string his christmas lights for him, and the other small things that I do to show I love and care about him.
I have been done for a long time now, I just cant seem to move on though.. I always go back, its good for a couple weeks then it just sucks again.
I have been in a relationship with a man for almost four years. Not only is it not going anywhere, I also think its an emotionally abusive relationship and I think it has run its course.
The thing is, I have not been happy in this relationship since about 8 months into it, when he cheated on me. He regreted it, but it took him almost two years to stop talking to the girl that was involved. During this time, my self esteem got crushed, and I gained 40 lbs due to emotional eating. It has progressively gotten better in the last year, but he has become super needy now, where I have to basically coo at him like he is a small child to make him feel loved and wanted. And when I mean coo, it goes a little something like this... 'I love you my sexy darling love always and forever, your my everything, etc, etc'. This is not a bad thing and everyone needs to feel loved, but when it has to be said every time we talk, every text, every phone call, every email, the meaning of it loses value. If I miss saying something like that one time, he gets upset and sulks all day. On top of that, I have been repeatedly told if I dont act the way he wants, or show affection in the exact manner he expects it, I am a heartless bitch, who only cares about herself. I sacrificed and gave up alot to make this relationship work including removing several male friends from my life, and then to get through all the trust issues, but it doesnt matter.
I am just tired of doing everything I can to make someone feel loved and wanted and it never be good enough. I am tired of everytime I dont want to make love, or if my kiss is only 3 seconds instead of 10 seconds, I am a heartless uncaring bitch. I am scared to end it, worried maybe there is something there that I will be missing out on when I leave. I am also worried about him because he always makes me feel like he has no one and I am it, and life will seize to be worth living if I am not in it.
We had a fight last night, and I told him if I was so heartless, then he needed to find someone that will give him what he needs. We havent spoken since then. I dont know whats going to happen... I just dont want to do it anymore. I dont want to fight over how I am not loving and caring when I do hold hands with him on the couch when we are watching TV, give him kisses and snuggles and tell him I am happy to see him when I see him, text him to let him know I am missing him and thinking of him. Cook him yummy suprise healthy dinners, string his christmas lights for him, and the other small things that I do to show I love and care about him.
I have been done for a long time now, I just cant seem to move on though.. I always go back, its good for a couple weeks then it just sucks again.
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