I think Im done but I dont know

I think Im done but I dont know.. I think I have had it but I dont know.. I think im scared and I know it.. I just dont know what to do anymore.. God forbid that one of my children die.. I hope so deseperately that he takes me first.. I wish it with my whole heart and soul.. Not that i want to die right now.. But I will be damned if one of my kids go before me.. And right now, I just dont care about me.. LIFE SHOULD NOT BE A JOURNEY TO THE GRAVE WITH THE INTENTION OF ARRIVING SAFELY IN AN ATTRACTIVE AND WELL PRESEVED BODY, BUT RATHER TO SKID IN SIDEWAYS, BODY THOROUGHLY USED UP, TOTALLY WORN OUT, AND SCREAMING,..... WOOO FUCKING HOO.. THANKS FOR THE RIDE..  I think Im getting there.. But I love all of you.. And I refuse to give up.. But I am not to shit.. If you know what I mean... I love all of you (or most)... I hate trolls.. they taste bad.. Peace guys.. Y'Vonne

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hug Y\'Vonne - strong and brave ladybear x

My journey to the grave sounds like it\'s going to be very much similar to the one described above. : )
deleted_user
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This is only temporary. The journey is bound to have some rough patches. Any road worth traveling has them.
Just wait for the view that is just around that next bend.
deleted_user
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Hay Y\'vonne any thing I can do 2 lift ur spirits....I like the all caps saying just way cool...

and, how does 1 cook a troll??? do ya ad taters or just the tater juice???
deleted_user
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Big hugs to a special DS member who is one of the ones who is always there to help others. Your ace and you put a smile on so many peoples faces. ((HUGS))
deleted_user
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big hugs and peace to you........
deleted_user
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Yvonne..you are braver and stronger than you know hon. If anyone can get through how you are feeling..it is you. Please try not to think of your children dying. Just the thought of it..cripples us as moms. With the deaths and those dying all around you..I can see why you are thinking this way hon. Just try not to let it take you over. Love your children and those in your life everyday like it is your last. That is all we can really do when we love people. We have to live each moment letting those around us know how special they are to us and pray that when they leave us..we will see them tomorrow. I too..have suffered the loss of so many. For you my friend..I pray that you find peace and strength.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hugs Y\"vonne.....yeah how do ya cook a TROLL???
deleted_user
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Hugs and love dear. Michele.
deleted_user
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You are in my thoughts Y\'Vonne...I am worried about you but the fact that you are not going to give up makes me feel better. I am here for you anytime you need someone to talk to...I love you much xxxxxxxxxx
deleted_user
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I know when a death occurs, and it\'s a little too close to home, you start to question mortality. I know not what it feels like to parent a child. I will likely never know. So Can only try grasp the fear of losing one born into this world from ones own womb. All you can do is try keep them close, let them lead their lives, and hope they are spared. It\'s all anyone can do. Don\'t allow your fear take over you. Enjoy what you have.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Y\'Vonne...I love you girlfriend!! You are as ever in my thoughts my prayers and in my heart!! You mean alot to me and I care about you a ton!! You have endured so much lately....I am so sorry that you have had to go thru so much sorrow!! I am here for you if you ever need me!! I really truly wish I was there to be with you when you need someone. Don\'t ever give up Y\'Vonne!! You are so very special and precious!! I would miss you terribly!!!
You\'ve got to keep fighting the good fight!
deleted_user
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Lots off hugs and love im here for u anytime love ya loads xx
deleted_user
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Lots of prayers and wishes Yvonne.
deleted_user
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There is very deep and peaceful wisdom in the word \" I don\'t know\".

At least i think there is, but I guess i don\'t know!
deleted_user
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Mean,
So sorry. I know it must be rough. I cant imagine somethng like that happening to me. Hang in the gf, im here if u wanna talk.
love ya
Cathy