I think Im done but I dont know

I think Im done but I dont know.. I think I have had it but I dont know.. I think im scared and I know it.. I just dont know what to do anymore.. God forbid that one of my children die.. I hope so deseperately that he takes me first.. I wish it with my whole heart and soul.. Not that i want to die right now.. But I will be damned if one of my kids go before me.. And right now, I just dont care about me.. LIFE SHOULD NOT BE A JOURNEY TO THE GRAVE WITH THE INTENTION OF ARRIVING SAFELY IN AN ATTRACTIVE AND WELL PRESEVED BODY, BUT RATHER TO SKID IN SIDEWAYS, BODY THOROUGHLY USED UP, TOTALLY WORN OUT, AND SCREAMING,..... WOOO FUCKING HOO.. THANKS FOR THE RIDE..  I think Im getting there.. But I love all of you.. And I refuse to give up.. But I am not to shit.. If you know what I mean... I love all of you (or most)... I hate trolls.. they taste bad.. Peace guys.. Y'Vonne