I think I get what the journal is for!
It's for when you have stuff you want to ramble on about that isn't worthy of a thread. Some times you just need to ramble on to get your thoughts out.
Like...
How does a fairly intelligent person who knows a lot about psychology not see the disaster waiting to happen when it's staring her right in the face? When I met Joe it didn't make sense, but it felt right. It was like we had been together forever. There wasn't any adjustment period. I even forgot what life was like after being with him for a relatively short period of time. I always follow my head first and I don't believe in fate. I believe in relationships taking work. Nothing is perfect. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. So why did I buy into this whole theory of his that everything happens for a reason and it was fate? Because I couldn't explain it or was afraid to look at the truth of it?
The truth is I made a person who doesn't feel he's good enough for anything or anyone feel awesome. I made him feel like the most special person on the planet. Smart, funny, sexy, fun, responsible, moral... I remember him asking me often why I loved him or even if I loved him and when I replied by pouring my heart out to him he would say "sometimes I just need to know". Uh.. yo Marilyn. RED FLAG ALERT! When he told me about relationships he'd severed because the other person had made what he considered to be a fatal mistake, I told him that it made me nervous because I was worried I'd do something to upset him and he'd just walk away. But he assured me that our relationship was different because we talk through everything. And then he doesn't tell me when he has separation issues while in basic training?
I'm sorry, how do you be so in love with someone that you spend the whole day touching them and gazing lovingly into their eyes and then 2 months later you feel hurt by them and you don't say anything? You just stop feeling. How can you put so much into someone else so that if you're ever separated you don't know who you are? You can't survive without them? That's not healthy. How did I think that was healthy. I know that's not healthy!
Am I still doing it? I gave up my home and business and moved my kids and I into my Moms house so we could save a few bucks before moving to Maryland in February. And then he tells me it's over and I worry about how he's coping when my whole life is in a pile of rubble? Why did I get upset when He yelled at me for making him feel like he ruined my life? Why couldn't I say "well ya you kinda did. I could have been working with a house to live in if you would have said something in July!"
I wonder if I can teach the dog to slap me...
Like...
How does a fairly intelligent person who knows a lot about psychology not see the disaster waiting to happen when it's staring her right in the face? When I met Joe it didn't make sense, but it felt right. It was like we had been together forever. There wasn't any adjustment period. I even forgot what life was like after being with him for a relatively short period of time. I always follow my head first and I don't believe in fate. I believe in relationships taking work. Nothing is perfect. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. So why did I buy into this whole theory of his that everything happens for a reason and it was fate? Because I couldn't explain it or was afraid to look at the truth of it?
The truth is I made a person who doesn't feel he's good enough for anything or anyone feel awesome. I made him feel like the most special person on the planet. Smart, funny, sexy, fun, responsible, moral... I remember him asking me often why I loved him or even if I loved him and when I replied by pouring my heart out to him he would say "sometimes I just need to know". Uh.. yo Marilyn. RED FLAG ALERT! When he told me about relationships he'd severed because the other person had made what he considered to be a fatal mistake, I told him that it made me nervous because I was worried I'd do something to upset him and he'd just walk away. But he assured me that our relationship was different because we talk through everything. And then he doesn't tell me when he has separation issues while in basic training?
I'm sorry, how do you be so in love with someone that you spend the whole day touching them and gazing lovingly into their eyes and then 2 months later you feel hurt by them and you don't say anything? You just stop feeling. How can you put so much into someone else so that if you're ever separated you don't know who you are? You can't survive without them? That's not healthy. How did I think that was healthy. I know that's not healthy!
Am I still doing it? I gave up my home and business and moved my kids and I into my Moms house so we could save a few bucks before moving to Maryland in February. And then he tells me it's over and I worry about how he's coping when my whole life is in a pile of rubble? Why did I get upset when He yelled at me for making him feel like he ruined my life? Why couldn't I say "well ya you kinda did. I could have been working with a house to live in if you would have said something in July!"
I wonder if I can teach the dog to slap me...
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