I think I can't keep doing this..
I am just tired. I feel no passion for anything anymore. I basically get up, go to work, go home, go to bed.
Besides a few online people, I don't even care to talk to anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone and I can't get close to anyone. My family basically keeps me around to work for them and be under their thumb. There is no love. I have no boyfriend, no spouse, no children..no real live friends. It really is pointless. I exist just to exist. That is really not a valid reason...
Besides a few online people, I don't even care to talk to anyone anymore. I can't trust anyone and I can't get close to anyone. My family basically keeps me around to work for them and be under their thumb. There is no love. I have no boyfriend, no spouse, no children..no real live friends. It really is pointless. I exist just to exist. That is really not a valid reason...
Replies
I\'m so sorry things are so bad right now, but YOU are a valid reason! YOU have worth & value. It\'s REALLY hard to realize this when you\'re surrounded by toxic people.
I wish I had a magic wand that would help you feel better right now. I wish I was there to give you a real hug.
I know it sounds counter intuitive, but have you tried making a daily gratitude list? It really shifted how I saw myself & my world, even when I didn\'t have anyone in my world. It wasn\'t easy. I started w/one thing. I was grateful I woke up that morning. And some days, I couldn\'t even say that. But I kept going & pretty soon I was up to ten things. They were little things like being grateful for my cat & having a roof over my head. It\'s ok to repeat things on the list.
What it did for me was shift my focus from negative to positive & the more I saw that was positive, the less I saw the negative. This didn\'t happen right away & it took effort & I was in therapy at the time, but it did work.
Another thing is to go to a local park, or just sit outside somewhere AWAY from the toxic people in your life. Connecting w/nature is very healing. Just focus on watching the leaves fall or the squirrels running around.
If you want to talk, and I\'m around, let me know. I know it helped to have people who listened and validated my feelings when I first came to DS.
Big hugs!!!
Hi Joanie,
I am so sorry your parents are so difficult It must be tough. My Mother is gone and to be honest it was a relief when she died.
I have not, before this, read any of your previous journals. I went back, just as far as Sept 4. I read that one, read Tiger tails comments to you, then your response. I don\'t know if I could have read everything wrong, but I read Tigertails was trying to tell you in a nice way, you are being to good to your ex and you need to know when to stop and draw the line and you took what she said the opposite way, I believe you thought she said you didn\'t have empathy for the ex. Would you please go back and read that one. If if was me, I would have felt awful if I\'d have been you and read it the wrong way.
I hope this all makes sense.
Georgia
I appreciate the kind words. I am not sure which journel you mean Georgia, or if you mean the ex husband or ex bf? In the case of the ex husband I should of done more during my marriage and I may not be where I am at now. In the case of any ex boyfriends, I should of used the empathy I did towards them instead towards my ex husband and perhaps he would not be an ex. I just feel I am at the end of my rope and trying to hang on, but its just too hard.