I think about him 24/7

I wake up in the morning, sometimes at 3:30 and I'm thinking about my husband.  Throughout the day, even at work, I'm thinking about my husband.  My last thought at night is about my husband.  On my porch, in my car, at the grocery store I think about him and miss him.  Thinking what's he doing, where's he going, who's he with, does he miss me at all.  I want to call him all the time with little things that have happened throughout the day and I can't and I don't.  I've stopped thinking about what went wrong because now I know.  Now I think about how great it could be and he's not willing.   He's been coming over and seeing the kids and we've had some good talks.  He stopped by yesterday and even helped me in the yard.  We he stayed and we talked for about 45 minutes.  Nothing about us, just catching up on work, the kids, the bills, etc.  But it is so nice that we can do this.  I know he's probably thinking were friends now, but that is not the case for me.  I'm thinking if I get him here, get him on a friendly level, let him see what he's missing, eventually he'll snap out of this mid-life crisis and he'll come home.    Sometimes I cry when he leaves and sometimes I don't.  I'm coping with all this as best I can and still holding out hope (as long as there is no other woman).   My mind is so preoccupied with thoughts of him, sometimes I don't hear what other people are saying, I don't remember things I've done or said, I don't remember talking to someone just that morning.  I'm the walking wounded and barely functioning.  One foot in front of the other is all I can manage right now.  I still feel the need to talk about my pain with anyone who will listen.  People are getting tired of it.  I break down in restaurants, in stores, in my car at odd times.  Someone will ask how I'm doing and I break down.  I think people are just going to stop asking and I don't blame them.    I look at my goal, to find happiness again, I can't even move the progress bar because I'm not there yet.  Not even a little bit.Right now I have bad days and then really bad days.  No good days. I miss my own laughter, my joy, my happiness, my husband.  I think about him and our marriage 24/7.  I think until I know for sure what our final outcome will be, I will continue to think about this 24/7.  It's difficult and painful and just plain sad.