I suck
I have to admit to all off my friends on D.S.Since Bobby went to heaven i have became a alcholic.Not proud.I make myself sick.I can not explain.Do i feel better after drinking.No i feel worse.Some how drinking makes me never forget never get over somtimes when you feel o.k you have nothing but guilt.When i drink it brings me back to my grief.Bobby would want me to be o.k,but i am not.Somthings just don't move past.I will never get past Bobby not being in my life.He was (is) my sunshine.! I suck and just do not no how to move on.I have excepted i will never be o.k with out Robert Joseph Chaisson.No one deserves the suffering we have all ben through.It makes me sick.How can this happen to the good people i will never understand.How can this happen to Bobby.Bobby had a heart of gold.He was everything to admire.I miss every little thing about Bobby.EVERYTHING!!!
Replies
I unserstand missing Bobby. Lately that is thing I have told people...I miss him. My Alex was awesome too...in fact when I hear the other mothers here speak of their children...I notice that they too are awesome chldren. We were lucky to have these kids in our lives. It really sucks that we do not have them any more. I appreciate your telling us about your alcholism...and now I hope that you will choose to do something about it. It breaks my heart to think that you will not fight for life! You deserve any happiness that you can find...and you yourself said that drinking makes you feel worse. Paula...choose life for yourself...for those that are there with you that love you...for Bobby...for us. Do something about the drinking...now! today! YOU are worthy of more. Love and giant hugs to YOU...Karen
Paula, I too have started drinking more. Maybe not as much, but it helps me relax and go to sleep. if i sleep i dont think about things and i dont hurt. but you know as well as we all do that Bobby doesn\'t want to see you this way. He doesn\'t want to see you doing this to yourself. He\'s watching everything you do and he wants you to be able to move on and smile again, smile for him. I know it\'s very hard to do, trust me. I have had the same thoughts, that I suck, I thought I\'m a bad mother, I dont deserve to live. I should have been the one in that accident not Nick. But hun, this was God\'s plan, even though we do not agree with it or understand it. Please, for Bobby, do something about the alcholism. He doesnt want to see you doing this. We are all here for you and you can lean on us anytime. I wish I were there to personally give you a hug..Luv, Tonja