I suck

I have to admit to all off my friends on D.S.Since Bobby went to heaven i have became a alcholic.Not proud.I make myself sick.I can not explain.Do i feel better after drinking.No i feel worse.Some how drinking makes me never forget never get over somtimes when you feel o.k you have nothing but guilt.When i drink it brings me back to my grief.Bobby would want me to be o.k,but i am not.Somthings just don't move past.I will never get past Bobby not being in my life.He was (is) my sunshine.! I suck and just do not no how to move on.I have excepted i will never be o.k with out Robert Joseph Chaisson.No one deserves the suffering we have all ben through.It makes me sick.How can this happen to the good people i will never understand.How can this happen to Bobby.Bobby had a heart of gold.He was everything to admire.I miss every little thing about Bobby.EVERYTHING!!!