i saw kilo today

i was on my way to the train station - walking and i saw kilo across the street.  he was the last person i thought to see in the city with everyone just leaving from work.  but i did spot him.  i don't think he saw me.  i put out a big smile/chuckle and the only reason i think i did that is because he looked the same and i don't think he drives b/c he had a back pack on him.  he was dressed like he is still a waiter - i wanted to say waitress.  kilo is the guy who hurt me a feel years ago.  the situation with him had a negative impact on me - i felt betrayed and abandon.  i felt humiliated.  i then started thinking about my uncle molesting me.  the friendship with kilo was awful and after i have been trying to heal my wounds.  my concern is i chuckled at hoping he has not progressed since i knew him.  i'm not happy with that.  i made a comment to a friend that i am full of hate.  i am proud of myself - two year ago i might have wished i had a gun or knife to hurt kilo, but know i was able to keep walking.  i just finished the book: the shack and God asked the main character to forgive the person: a serial killer who had killed the main character's daughter.  i am know reading desmond tutu - no future without forgiveness and the chapter i am at is about God not giving up on anyone no matter what bad things they may have done.  i hate and say bad things about people who hurt me.  how can i save myself?